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Original poster

I might posibly be pregnant but DH doesn't want another...

14 replies

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/07/2012 22:06

We have two dc, a boy and a girl. DS is nearly 4yrs old, DD is 18mths. We carelessly had unprotected sex over the weekend, I thought it was safe, got my dates wrong but afterwards realised that I was probably ovulating (which may explain why I was feeling unusually horny, doesn't happen often Smile ) We have talked and talked about it and he really really doesn't want another baby, but me, well I've started thinking about another one and now I'm feeling broody.

DH wants me to go and get the morning after pill tomorrow, I really want another baba!

I agree woth him that it's not a good time, we have a lot of credit cards to pay off and I've just started a new business so for the 1st time in 4yrs we are getting money coming in so are able to start paying back our creditors although its going to take us a while, so having a baby now, and being out of work againf or a while is the last thing we need.

What do I do? I've got an appointment with the GP tomorrow and I really don't want to take the pill, I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet but I really want to be. I feel really selfish but I've always wanted 3 kids and I like the age gaps but DH is finding it realy stressful with the two we've got and is only beginning now to see a chink of light and getting his/our lives back.

wwyd?

OP posts:
Whatevertheweather · 17/07/2012 22:08

I think you'd be too late for the MAP now anyway?

Chubfuddler · 17/07/2012 22:10

What would I do? Tell Dh that he was perfectly well aware when we had that shag this could be the result and he would just have to deal with it. And I say that as someone who resolutely does not want a third, of I got pussed and carried away I'd just have to cope.

Original poster
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/07/2012 22:15

whatevertheweather- i thought you could take something like it up to 5days? Or maybe I'm mixing up with someting else?

chubfuddler- It was mostly my faulty Blush as i wanted to go 'bareback' Blush Blush and 'seduced' him Blush. Well all my fault really. I have deprived him of a good fumble for oh at least 6mths. So he could barely contain his excitment or his rational brain when I climbed into bed wearing only a naughty grin.

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Chubfuddler · 17/07/2012 22:17

Bollocks was it your fault and bollocks have you deprived him. Ice got a five year old and a one year old -,I'm too tired for as much sgaggibg as I would like, never mind Dh, and that is no more my fault than his. He was up for unprotected sex, he deals with the consequences.

Chubfuddler · 17/07/2012 22:18

Shagging that should be. Stupid phone.

MirandaWest · 17/07/2012 22:19

Think the MAP can work up to 72 hours after sex but most effective the sooner it is taken, I think having a copper coil put in up to 5 days later can be OK but again the sooner the better.

Original poster
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/07/2012 22:22

I thought 'sgaggibg' was some new MN word for shagging actually as I havn't ben around for a while. He's angry with himself but I do feel guilty like I should have known better. Now I'm in a pickle. Wine

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 17/07/2012 22:22

I've just read your op again. Chances are you're not pregnant anyway, but in case ypu are, do not abort a pregnancy you want. No way.

defineme · 17/07/2012 22:23

Really honestly? I think your dh was stupid ('bareback' 'safe time' = madness), but I think you're behaving apallingly... could never do that to dh because we're an equal partnership. I think you're being really selfish.

Chubfuddler · 17/07/2012 22:23

Why should you have known better if he didn't? It's not your responsibility just because it's you who conceives - you can't do it at will.

Original poster
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/07/2012 22:24

I don't want to take the coil/map. I want another baby despite everything. And he doesn't. There is no easy answer.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/07/2012 22:26

defineme- why is it just me that's selfish? Don't my desires count too? I'm not saying I'm not being selfish, I realise from his point of view I am but isn't dh too?

OP posts:
defineme · 17/07/2012 22:47

I think you've both been equally stupid and I think you should both have an equal say. Honestly (as a woman and a mother) I don't find your point of view very mature? I think 'I really want a baby' doesn't cancel out debts/your dh's concerns/your prospects for supporting the family you do have.
It's probably because I was infertile and had to have my kids through treatment that I paid for: I really don't see having the urge to have a child as an overwhelming reason for having one.I'd like another baby some days, but realistically it would mess up all sorts of stuff and I have kids so that's that..
Obviously if you're pro life then pregnancy is an overwhelming reason to have a child and I'm not about to start arguing with that. I assume you're not as you mention map and so on.
I think we're very lucky to be in charge of our fertility and children should be planned. If a mistake happens then we have map and abortion to deal with that.
I'm sounding very heartless. I have got myself in some awful situations through my own stupidity in the past. So I am sorry for you, but I felt your tone was a little flippant and I don't think your husband is being selfish -I think he's being pragmatic, considering the family that he has got and their situation, as well as his own needs.

Obviously

defineme · 17/07/2012 22:48

The obviously at the end was a typo-not horrid sarcasm!

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