WWYD tell the truth or make an excuse. Re db's wedding.

[whyme2]

I have decided not to attend my db's wedding.

My reasons are that he is an arse and I don't want to be there.

Now he is asking me why I am not going. I can make up some excuses - finance, dc due to have day surgery a few days before, we are also due to move house same week etc.

SO wwyd. lie or tell the truth?

Depends on whether you want to keep him in your life or not.

"I'm not coming because you're a total arse and I don't like you" = bye bye brother

"I would love to come, if there was any way, I would, but just after surgery, I am not going to be able to cope/

Oh, sorry, you asked what would WE do.

I'd tell him he's an arse and I'm not coming. But then, I don't think that you're under any obligation to like someone or have them in your life because of an accident of birth, and if you wouldn't have anything to do with someone if they didn't randomly share some DNA, then why bother if that's the only difference? A bit of genetic code doesn't make a family.

I'm pretty sure he'll still be an arse after he's married, so I think I'd be tempted to make excuses, let him enjoy his big day in peace, then deal with the arsiness later iyswim.

I am coming round to that way of thinking Hecate I certainly don't feel like I have a relationship with him that is worth preserving. And I do get the impression that he is not bothered either.

Well I think it depends how much it affect the members of my family I do care about. If telling the truth would really upset my parents or other siblings then I'd probably just use excuses.

Well I covered that one because I did explain to my dm yesterday that I wasn't going because I didn't want to without making any excuses. Really she is the only reason I would have gone. But then she knows he has been an arse too.

Well if your dm knows, I would just tell him. It probably won't come as a surprise.