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close friend but every conversation is like playing Top Trumps

1 reply

gingeroots · 01/06/2012 10:31

Have known friend for 40 years and we've had a lot of contact in last 10 years while I helped her care for her mother .

But in every conversation I have with her any subject I raise is always ,without exception ,met with " oh yes we've been going there for years " " oh yes I /friend /aunt had that three years ago ,20times worse " .

Anything I want to talk about becomes a discussion about her experience of it .
I honestly think that this is just her way of relating to the world but WWYD ?

It's such an ingrained pattern I'm not sure how I can politely draw her attention to how difficult I'm finding it .
Recently when my mother became quite ill I mentioned it to my friend who instantly related it to a similar health problem her aunt had had .
When I said " Oh I'm sorry I really only care about how it's affecting my mum at the moment " she went all quiet ,seemed miffed and changed the subject .

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 07/06/2012 15:28

Oh I hate this. I have found the only thing to do is to say in an exasperated way, "For god's sake, why do you do that? Why do you always have to trump whatever I'm telling you? Can't you just listen to what I'm saying?"

And then leave her in the middle of whatever she's doing.

It's the only way to get through to some people.

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