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How do I get out of answering this question without sounding rude?

28 replies

1950sHousewife · 30/05/2012 19:16

I'm going to say straight off - Please don't give the answer "Tell them to mind their own business." I would never say that so it's a waste of your typing skills and would really appreciate some creative and non-confrontational ways of putting this. Thanks.

So here it is.
We are buying a new house . But so far, every person I've told has asked me where it is, then straight away how much it costs. Then, not knowing how to get out of it, I've told them and they've flinched at the price.

What we are paying would be considered average in England, but as you can get really cheap houses here, it seems expensive. It's a lovely house, perhaps the nicest in it's area, with lots of land, so we think it's worth it and have saved up for ages for it.

How do I deflect the question in a polite and even jokey way?

OP posts:
DancingwithDragons · 30/05/2012 19:22

I would smile and either say 'its enough' and then quickly tell them about some fabulous feature about it or just say 'i'm sorry but i don't like to discuss our financial situation like this' and that will definitely end the conversation right there and then.

I have asked my close friends about how much they paid for their houses a) i am nosy and b) we are looking to buy and was just curious. But i have always asked if i can ask them a personal question and said they didn't have to answer if they didn't want to.


LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops · 30/05/2012 19:26

Something like more than or less than the last?

1950sHousewife · 30/05/2012 19:27

Thanks Dragons. That is why I don't want to be rude, because I've asked the same kind of question in the past and one friend bluntly said 'none of your business and i felt awful!
I now regret asking the question as I feel awkward with the same attention on our finances. Maybe it's because the house is considered expensive here, but in the UK would only get a semi on a bypass where we used to live!

OP posts:
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 19:27

""Hopefully less than what they're asking for"

ginmakesitallok · 30/05/2012 19:28

£63,450,400. And worth every fucking penny

EssentialFattyAcid · 30/05/2012 19:30

Say "oh, I'm trying not to think too much about the price!"

TheSkiingGardener · 30/05/2012 19:31

"The same as a semi on a bypass in Britain. It's so much nicer here"

CarpeJugulum · 30/05/2012 19:32

I got this with my new 6 years ago house. I didn't want I discuss it as the fact was we were paying for some of it with an inheritance from my DM Sad and going into that was just too painful.

I went for... Said with a smile and a wince "enough to make the bank manager turn grey!"

Only the stupidest noisiest then persisted!

MyelinSheath · 30/05/2012 19:34

"It's about the same as we paid for our last house/a house where we used to live"
"it's a little more/less than we planned to pay but we're very happy with it"
"it was a fair price for what it is, we're very happy"
"somewhere in the region of "

and then just carry on talking. The thick skinned will keep asking but keep deflecting.

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/05/2012 19:35

I'd just say as otherwise all they'll do is go home and look on rightmove. I have a friend who checks out how much all new friends paid for their houses once she knows their address.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2012 20:03

I would just say 'unfortunately quite a lot' and change the subject. However MrsCB is quite right-nothing is secret now and you can look on line and see exactly how much people bought and sold their houses for! I have used it to find out what the houses we considered buying actually sold for in the end.

yellowraincoat · 30/05/2012 20:06

Double it and watch their face drop.

1950sHousewife · 30/05/2012 21:13

You are all wonderful! Thinking of doing a combo job of all the above and just keep deflecting. I think I was just so floored by how open people were about asking (never having been in the situation before), but have realised myself it's a bit like asking someone if they are pregnant, a bit rude and puts people on the spot. I'll never ask the question again and now cringe that I ever did.

I agree with looking online to see the price (sounds like the sort of thing I might do Blush, but fortunately the price isn't online at the moment. Hurrah.

Thanks again! Grin

OP posts:
BombasticAghast · 30/05/2012 21:14

DH always says "Money and fair words"
Whatever that means.

LeoniPoni · 02/06/2012 17:51

I was going to try and get creative for you but I think that I'll never better EssentialFattyAcids and TheSkiingGardeners which are both marvellous and I have made a mental note for future use.

tribpot · 02/06/2012 17:56

I'm assuming that the asking price is online so you can just say 'a bit less than the asking price' or 'around the asking price' and leave it to them. It's not until you've bought and all the dust is settled that your actual sum will be available.

PurplePidjinghamPalace · 02/06/2012 18:01

"Can you keep a secret?" "DH won the lottery but we're not allowed to talk about it for security reasons"

Or simply "Enough to get what we wanted"

Lougle · 02/06/2012 18:02

"more than I wanted to pay, and less than they wanted to sell for! Grin"

blueglue · 02/06/2012 18:04

Q How much?

A A fair bit, but we really fell in love with it for reasons x y z...moving the conversation on to those features.

TheSecondComing · 02/06/2012 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyTeeAndBiscuits · 02/06/2012 18:06

I've always liked the answer "more than a pound" and then change the subject.

FridasBrow · 02/06/2012 18:29

"I'd prefer not to say; I don't want to jinx it."

post · 02/06/2012 18:54

Why don't you want to tell them?

ZillionChocolate · 04/06/2012 21:57

I think it's cheeky to ask. I would never ask, but often look at nethouseprices later on because I am a nosy cow.

I'd go for "all the money we've got, and some of the bank's too". You could always ask "why do you ask/want to know?".

MateyM00 · 04/06/2012 22:01

An arm and a leg and the college fund for our firstborn!


Well, you know how expensive houses are over there.


Its keeping me awake even thinking about it, but we should be ok

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