Parent at nursery pick-up, toddler safety around cars.

[Lexilicious]

Every day I pick up my DS at about the same time as another mum. She has a 3-4 yo and an 18-24 month old (don't know exactly but both mobile). Nursery pick up zone is on a workplace site which has a very low speed limit but not necessarily great visibility between the parking zone and the through route. It is the total lack of control she has, with her younger child in particular, freaks me out. She is not completely harassed or fighting with them, she buckles the older one in first and the younger runs about between the cars/on the pavement and she lets it be a game. A lot of the time she can't even see him.

I have often just sat and not started up my car until I can see that she's got hold of the younger one. The other day she even got into her driver seat, shut the door, looked out of her open window and said 'alright then, I'll go without you' while he stood around between cars (actually, in front of mine). He just stood there and smirked back at her, she got out and picked him up, and then got him a snack/drink or something out of the boot.

It's one thing to relax the rules in a safe place but I don't think that most toddlers really have much judgement about which are the safe places to muck about or not. I am not trying to be holier-than-thou but we make DS hold a hand in any car park or road, even if absolutely deserted.

The site management went to some lengths to design a safe parking zone and set the speed limit at 5mph - which is nearly impossible to do without stalling! - and I am sure that the nursery can't actually do anything once parents have walked out of the door with their children, but should I mention it in case they choose to have a word? I am feeling too chicken to say anything to the mum myself - only a nodding acquaintance. If I did, would something like this be ok: "could I suggest that you buckle in the younger one first, and let the older one demonstrate he's old enough to be able to wait carefully around all these cars?"

I have to say I feel the same about many people at my ds nursery
They allow 2yo to scoot a long way in front, the road is stupidly busy, and sometimes fast
I think the only thing you can do is look after your own child how you see fit, and leave other people to it

also you are very likely to be told to mind your own, and could cause an enemy of someone who is going to be going to the same school for quite some time
Repeat after me"nowt to do with me"

thanks Svrider... not to drip feed, but more than half the families at this nursery are here for only 2-4 years at a time (mobile employment patterns) and it's not attached to a school so there's only potentially one more year when I need to see this mum at all. But I know what you're getting at, and that's why I was thinking more of mentioning to the nursery management. They are totally professional and I know that they would just take my point without commenting and I would probably not hear back at all, whether they chose to speak to the mum or not. I wouldn't expect to be told how she reacted.

The other thing about this is that I'm one of the two parent reps on the nursery-workplace committee and one of the big issues is always parking and safety. I could conceivably get this in as a suggestion for all parents to be reminded about road safety, so it's not just this mum who feels singled out.

I think I just have an overactive imagination and (melodramatic alert!) it just makes me feel physically sick to see kids doing something that could go so horrifically wrong. I saw a baby crawling on the parcel shelf of a car doing 80 on the M25 once (well, I was at 70 and it overtook me) and I had to pull off and have a long cool drink I was so freaked.

I would maybe mention it to nursery staff and ask them to do a note to all parents about safety in the car park, then it's not singling out a particular person.

And I don't think you're over reacting about messing about in a car park, we've drummed into both of ours that a car park is not a place to play. If I have both children with me I ask them to keep their hands on to the car (make a joke out of it and put a 'cop' voice on) while I buckle the other one in.

Well, I did mention to nursery staff that Friday and felt better straight away. Because of the long weekend it has been until yesterday until I have picked up at the same time as this lady. She did get both her boys into the car quite quickly but the little one was still wandering between cars until she herded him over his brother's seat across to his own. Not sure e nursery has been able to have a word, on that evidence...