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HELP!!!!! FAMILY RELOCATION

7 replies

snout · 18/05/2012 20:01

Hello, can someone please talk to me. I need some inpartial advice. I'm married with a 5 month old son. My husbands job is a nightmare at the moment, taking him away for many days if not weeks from us and he is missing out on my little man. Not only this but all the perks that have kept him in the job have now been taken away from him, hence he needs to get out and find a more family friendly job.
My husbands family are a waste of time and never make any effort to see us however my parents live on the doorstep and see little man at least 4 times a week and adore their only grandchild.
My husband was offered a job today in the highlands of scotland with great hours, great money and would allow me to be a stay at home mum. It would also take us away from a busyish village to a remote farmhouse which would be great. The only thing is my parents. It breaks my heart thinking of having to tell them I could be taking their grandchild away from them. They would be unable to come to scotland due to animal and work commitments and my husband has said he will arrange to fly down to the southwest of england to see them for a week a month. Am I depriving my son and know his dotting grandparents??? Am I depriving them of seeing their only grandchhild????? Our little family I'm sure would live a better rural life with animals and more time and quality time with dad and son..... Am I being selfish????? Am I putting my parents first?????? Help I really need a friend to give me some advice. Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 19/05/2012 09:33

I don't know. I dont know you, but personally, going to a 'rural farmhouse' though sounds idyllic, could be v isolating after initial excitement has Wien off. Then you will miss your parents. Never mind your son/grandparents relationship....what about you?

savoycabbage · 19/05/2012 09:38

Yes what about you?

In my experience, you think you are going to manage to go back far more often then you actually manage to do it. Real life gets in the way.

The thing with the job would have to be a big part of the decision. If he is working all the hours in the day then that's not good for him or your little family.

snout · 19/05/2012 10:43

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. Can really say I have thought too much about myself I'm putting my little man first. My husband is so unhappy at work that I need to put him first, cause a happier daddy is a happier family and that's my priority. I guess I have always wanted to please my parents and going to scotland would not please them in the slightest. I'm just concerned I'm depriving both grandparents and my son from special times together. Oh I don't know. So hard.

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snout · 19/05/2012 10:43

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. Can really say I have thought too much about myself I'm putting my little man first. My husband is so unhappy at work that I need to put him first, cause a happier daddy is a happier family and that's my priority. I guess I have always wanted to please my parents and going to scotland would not please them in the slightest. I'm just concerned I'm depriving both grandparents and my son from special times together. Oh I don't know. So hard.

OP posts:
HeathRobinson · 19/05/2012 10:52

In your shoes I would worry more about having a five month old baby in a remote farmhouse. Do consider the isolation factor.

nextphase · 19/05/2012 11:09

We live several hours from my parents, and further from my PiL.

We see my mother the most often, as she works part time, and the boys ( 3 and 1) adore her - maybe once every couple of months, however if Gramps is about, Gran definitely looses her attraction.

PiL are skyped every week, and are very popular, but when we meet up, there is a few minutes of adjusting before the boys are happy with them.

I think you need to do what is best for you, DH and your DS first. A close relationship with grandparents is possible without them living round the corner, but possibly sacrificing the father son relationship seems tough when there is something you can do about it.

snout · 19/05/2012 17:22

Another thing praps I need to mention is that my parents own a farmhhouse in spain and when they have saved enouth money, all be it, 5-10 years then they will relocated to spain to live permently. Aaaarrrrhhhhhh lol

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