Trying to tell friend i cant afford wedding reception so would rather not go. She wont listen!

[Emmielu]

For 3 months now i've told my friend i wont be able to afford to go to our friends wedding reception. Not only that i dont have a babysitter for the night. I now definately cant afford it cause im buying things for the house im moving into on the 28th & getting the last of the deposit set up. I'd have to pay for a train, then taxi, then drinks, then taxi, then bus, then another taxi. All in all its a 40min journey. DD has a birthday party the day after & the reception is the friday before i move. I need to get food in that weekend ready for the week i move. I've tried telling her & have even told her tonight i cant afford it & wont be making myself skint & putting DD out of food & warmth for a night out on myself. Shes offered to pay but i dont have a babysitter & dont want to be tired for DD's friends birthday party. (Prone to seizures so tiredness triggers it) The same day as DD's friends party i need to food shop.

What would you do? I dont want to fall out with her over this cause its silly to fall out over something that cant be helped.

Your friend has offered to pay, you are using mumsnet so you have a computer, so you could arrange an internet shop to arrive on the day you need to go get the shopping?

Do you drive? Could you cut costs by driving then you can dictate what time you choose to leave so you're not too tired?

Or, as you're among friends, admit it, you just can't be arsed to go?

I cant drive. Epileptic. So id be leaving the same time as the others. I could arrange a internet shop but my dad is driving me to the shop while DD is at the party because he has the day off so would be quicker. I dont want my friend to pay for me to get there & back when i know shes in the same boat as me. Obviously its up to her how she spends her money & im grateful shes offered but i dont think she realises how much just getting there will cost. £5 for 1 adult on the train. Taxi for 30 mins. Add drinks. Then another taxi. Then a bus. Then another taxi. Its not fair on her. Hence why id rather not go.

lol Joyce! Do you think that would work?

I think you just have to be very blunt; tell her that you are NOT going, you are not prepared to get a babysitter and that you do not want to talk about it anymore. Is she so desperate for you to go because she doesn't want to go on her own? Can you suggest another friend she can go with ?

Theres 6 other people who we're friends with going. I dont know why shes desperate for me to go. All the others are going & thats great that they are but i dont know what the big fuss is all about with me not going.