WWYD? 5th birthday present total disaster...

[QueenCrystal]

I thought I had done so well buying my DD a puppet theatre and puppets for her birthday. It is beautiful and thought would be so much fun for her (she loves make believe, role play etc).

She hates it! I'm not sure if it is because there is a picture of a drama mask on it which she thinks is a bit spooky or just that it was such a surprise. It was pretty expensive (I think) so if I am going to return it, it needs to be done in the next week.

Should I just return it or should I leave it for a bit and see if she changes her mind? Anyone else had the unwanted present situation before?

Leave it!

Shame if she doesn't like it but when given a gift, it's better to make the best of it, surely? She's 5. She's fickle. Wait till she has some friend round who'll play with it with her.

She's lucky to have such a nice present. If she doesn't like it, tough. Don't pander to her.

Get her to draw something to stick over the mask. It sounds like a really lovely present.

She needs to learn that a present is a present and that's that. Maybe you could take her out to the theatre or a puppet show or something that she'll enjoy as a special treat though.

that's all good advice, thank you. It sounds a bit daft of me but I hadn't really thought about it in terms of accepting a gift but you're both quite right (it is good manners after all!). I just felt so sad to have got it so wrong and for her not to be really thrilled. BTW she isn't a spoiled child (as in we don't buy toys all the time or in response to pestering). We have been to the theatre before although not to a puppet show (fab idea!).

It sounds like a lovely present, but if she genuinely doesn't like it or finds it scary (DD was always terrified of clowns) and is not being a spoilt madam (which it doesn't sound like she is), I'd just return it - it would drive me mad if I knew it was just wasted money and space sitting there.

QC - I disagree with the first couple of posters.

You bought her something 'different' that you thought she would love, but she doesn't (it doesn't mean she's being brattish if she's just not thrilled with it - all the better she can tell you these things!). It's not like (I presume anyway or else I'm sure you'd have said!) she threw it across the room and stomped her feet about it! She just doesn't really like it :(

Adults are allowed not to like things, why not children??

If your laptop was on the blink and you were eyeing up an Ipad (but couldn't afford it & had no means to save up for it) and your partner bought you a very expensive handbag (when you really aren't interested in handbags) for your birthday, wouldn't you be really disappointed?? Of course as an adult you have 'options' as a small child you don't.

It's all about 'attitude' IMO - if she's just upset/isn't keen on it/frightened by it then I'd swap it happily. If she's acting like a brat, throwing it around, stomping about hating her present etc then I'd take it back - and she wouldn't get anything else.

I would explain that you can really only do that with presents from Mummy & Daddy and that it's 'polite' to accept other gifts graciously :)

interesting too.... no she's definitely not acting brat like about it. She hasn't asked for anything else instead so not sure that I was actually going to get anything else or maybe just something small. She was just upset, said she didn't like the 'faces' (the masks) and said a couple of times that it wasn't what she expected - but I have no idea what she was expecting because she didn't ask for anything.

She was given a bit of money from an aunty for her birthday so I am taking her to a toy shop tomorrow so she can choose something for herself anyway.

I wouldn't take it back until you've had a friend round to see if they play with it together. But if they don't and she still says she doesn't like it then i might take it back. I'd buy her something smaller instead, but I can't really justify why!

Unless 5 year olds are a lot more mature and reasonable than 4 year olds, I would not take her initial rejection that seriously.

Children can have vague, non-specific expectations about things that are impossible to meet.

You, who knows her so well, spent a lot of time and effort thinking of a present you thought she would like.

Don't take it back just because a small girl, who hasn't played with it yet, has taken against it because she doesn't like the picture on the box.

Toys that are loved are not necessarily loved immediately. If she enjoys role play, she will probably come to love the puppet theatre.

It sounds really cool :)

I'd just like to point out, lots of kids are scared of puppets.

If she is scared of it, and won't go near it, or look at it. Then I would definitely take it back. If she looks at it a bit, but isn't really interested then I would keep it if possible and see if she grows into it.

We have got rid of present that we're inappropriate, eg. Books that are too young, or the horrendous Thomas ride on which had an engine louder than my Vacuum.

Are they really, mummy?

Now you say it, they can be a little creepy :o

Mummytime - my DD (4yo) is TERRIFIED of puppets.

No advice really. Mine is constantly telling me what she wants for her birthday (thankfully not until November!) and never stops asking for things. No idea what I'd do in this instance.

I'd waver between letting her learn the lesson of life and feeling sorry that she didn't get what she wanted.

If she is genuinely a bit scared of it then I definitely think about returning it and getting something else. After all, birthdays are only once a year. And she certainly doesn't sound as if she is being ungrateful in any way for the present.