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Original poster

Mis-pronouncing DD's (not outlandish/ made up or odd) name at school

39 replies

dorathecommuter · 05/04/2012 14:09

DD's name is Thalia, which we pronounce TAR lee a (no 2 on that link)

Before she started school her teacher and TA came to visit and asked us how her name was pronounced. Recent forays into school have revealed that the teacher and all the children are now calling her Tally-er :( It really grates and isn't her name.

I've asked her if she tells people that isn't her name and she said she does and that the TA did tell the whole class how to pronounce her name. She's only in Reception so we've got at least another 6 years of this. I think the biggest problem is her teacher has a very 'local' accent and this might just be the way they say it (Bristol - but her nursery at Bath everyone managed the right pronounciation). Obviously I don't want to upset her teacher (who is lovely BTW) but I would like the children and the staff to use her name. How?

OP posts:
Choufleur · 05/04/2012 14:18

I empathise but don't know what to suggest - everyone mispronunces our surname

seeker · 05/04/2012 14:18

Well, I think it should be pronounced thay-le-a! I do think if you choose a name with loads of pronunciations this is going to happen. Saying that, the school should get it right. Why not just say to her teacher "Thalia's getting a bit upset because people are getting her name wrong- could you make sure people say.....please?"

UniS · 05/04/2012 14:23

well I always thought it was "Fal lee er" or at a pinch "Tay lee er" so "tally er" sounds a lot closer to "Tar lee a" than I would have managed.

You know the bristol habit is to end words with an l sound don't you, surprised she hasn't been dubbed "Tay lee el" .

If she's like the year R kids I know with slightly unusual names she will get good at correcting people herself. Not just her own classmates but any one in the playground. Young "jona" has had to stand his ground as he doesn't like being called "jonas" there is a "jonas " 2 years further up the school.

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TiggyD · 05/04/2012 14:24

It is an odd name in that it's not common. I've never heard it before. I would have guessed it was pronounced with the THA making a sound as in 'that'.
Teachers and other staff should get her name right. The letter 'a' gets pronounced differently in some words according to where you are, most noticeably in 'grass' and 'bath'. You shouldn't get the northern sound in Bath though. Talk to the teacher again or put up with it.

Ilovedaintynuts · 05/04/2012 14:26

It's difficult one.
My friend's DD is called Thalia and it's pronounced Tay-lee-a.
I guess if there are different ways to pronounce the same name you can't blame people, and you could argue they aren't saying it wrong.
The teacher SHOULD be modelling the correct pronunciation though so I think you should approach her and tell her.
I suppose people have a right to have their name pronounced however they want eg Mrs Bucket pronounced Boo-kay Smile

Eggsits · 05/04/2012 14:27

I too would have thought it was Th as in that.

Have a word with the teacher. Is DD upset or just you?

AdelaideAussie · 05/04/2012 14:30

I think the majority of people will get this wrong, DD will have to get used to correcting people unless this name and pronunciation become very popular

MeanMom · 05/04/2012 14:32

Its not right and it's not fair but IMO the best thing to do - other than what you have already - is to ignore it.

People have mispronounced my first name all my life (and it's not at all unusual - either when I was a child or now) - my own Grandmother refused to pronounce it correctly. Since I married I have also acquired a surname that people mis spell and mis hear.

You have given your daughter a very beautiful name but it is a name people will be unsure of - it's frustrating and annoying that people who know better continue to get it wrong - but strangers will continue to get it wrong whatever you do - it's probably just better to try and ignore it.

Sorry

MrsArchieTheInventor · 05/04/2012 14:33

Hi Dora

I know exactly what you mean as my DS's name isn't complicated or difficult, I've just always pronounced it one way and his teachers pronounce it another, which grates on him. His name is Joseph, which I've always pronounced Jo-sef with a soft 's', as opposed to Jo-zef or Jo-zif.

Tell the teachers to pronounce your DS's name the way it should be, not the way they want it to be.

VivaLeBeaver · 05/04/2012 14:38

I wouldn't worry about it. As she gets older if it bothers her she'll tell people. And as she gets older people are less likely to mispronounce it as it'll be your dd telling them her name.

Quite a lot of people at work mispronounce my name, which is a mainstream name. I don't mind, I know who they mean. My friends get it right.

MinnieBar · 05/04/2012 14:39

I know an adult with this name and I'd assumed it was Thay (like hay) - lee-ah, because in the Antonia Forest 'Term' books a character has this name, and someone else mishears it and says 'Eh? She's a failure?'

However, she pronounces it 'Thal-ia', so that's different again.

By all means have a word with the teachers, and keep doing so, but expect that it's going to continue with every new teacher. And for the rest of her life

issyocean · 05/04/2012 14:51

I live in Bristol my friends daughter is Thalia we pronounce
it Tah-lia. Just tell her how you want it said if it bothers youl

Greythorne · 05/04/2012 14:59

I think it is a very pretty name, but I think it is a bit of a stretch to say it is not outlandish!

I have nev in all my 40 years met / come across / heard of a girl / woman called Thalia.

OrangeCrushed · 05/04/2012 15:04

I'm sorry, its a lovely name and all....but I can see why it is being mispronounced, it is exactly my definition of made up odd and slightly outlandish

YABU to be annoyed, i came on expecting your dd to be called something like Lorna and the kids keep saying Laura!

AndiMac · 05/04/2012 15:28

It might be a bit tough to fix now, but for my daughter's name, on every piece of correspondence with the school (and nurseries for that matter) I wrote her first name and then also the pronunciation. It's easy enough to say, but it's also easy enough to guess wrong by the spelling of it without a guide.

I would talk to the teachers and also give them a card or something with the correct pronunciation to help them remember.

Newtothisstuff · 05/04/2012 15:33

Tbh I have pronounced it like the teacher... I'd just make sure you tell them.
My Dd came home from school one week (year r) spelling her name wrong.. I know how you feel I went nuts !!

TheMonster · 05/04/2012 15:34

I thought they-lee-a as well. I guess you might as well get used to it!

Hulababy · 05/04/2012 15:35

Sounds more of an accent thing rather than a deliberate error tbh.

Just let DD to correct them when they say it wrong. I work in Y1 and have many children with names that are not always obvious how to pronounce. The children rarely have any problem with reminding staff of how it should be said.

IShallWearMidnight · 05/04/2012 15:40

my DDs (all with "interesting" names Wink) find that the rest of the class corrects teachers, so they don't have to do it. It's more of an issue at secondary though, as they have more teachers, and more chance of supply teachers who don't know the students.

DD2 has had a lot of medical appointments recently, and everyone at those has asked how to pronounce her name rather than trying and getting it wrong.

JollyRogerRabbit · 05/04/2012 15:41

I would pronounce it Tah-Lay-Ah. A girl I went to school with was called Thalia and it was pronounced like this. It certainly wouldn't have an R if I said it. However, if the parents/child would like it pronounced a certain way then I would use their pronunciation.

IAmBooyhoo · 05/04/2012 15:46

i would pronounce it Tal-ya.

just tell your DD to keep correcting people. they'll soon get it.

ThereisaBLUhillfaraway · 05/04/2012 15:48

Just speak to her teacher - the teacher probably uses her name out loud for the class to hear several times a day. Explain to the teacher that she is feeling a bit upset about the misunderstanding and could the teacher now prnounce it correctly and ask the TAs to do so too. Then the correct pronouncialtion will catch on.

It is a name I have come across several times, and pronounced as you do, too Smile. It's a lovely name.

captainbarnacle · 05/04/2012 15:50

Don't worry about it. I have a Xander. I didn't realised when I named him that the fact I am a northerner in a southern county would lead to two different names - a home he is Zan-Der and at nursery he's quite often Zarn-Der. It's not a problem. It's the same name, just different accents.

MrsPlugThePlumber · 05/04/2012 15:54

I would have pronounced it "Tar-lee-ah".

Can't you just ask the teacher to say it properly that way?

Ephiny · 05/04/2012 15:56

It's an unusual name, with a lot of possible different pronunciations, so I'd probably be grateful they're getting as close to your chosen pronunciation as they are!

If it really bothers you, then maybe have a polite word with the teacher. And as your DD gets older she'll probably be more assertive about correcting people herself.

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