New born in SCBU - timing for congrats?

[Isaidhangonamin]

I'm not usually prone to indecision but a cousin's daughter has just had a full term baby that has unexpectedly had to be cared for in SCBU. Although it has been touch and go and the parents have been distraught, it looks like a corner has been turned and outlook is brighter, it is not plain sailing yet. Is now the time for congratulations, presents etc? Wait a bit longer? The parents have still not posted a thing on Facebook to even mention the child's birth :-/

In your shoes I would wait until they are home with the baby to send card/gifts but text them to let them know to call on me in the meantime if anything is needed.

I had a very ill newborn and quite unusual circumstances I won't go into but I appreciated congratulations and presents etc, I think in fact we got two lots from some people, cards when she was born then more when we got home! I didn't want visitors mostly as was too upset but really appreciated being congratulated on my baby and any thing for her.

Everyone is different but for me one of thehardest things about being on maternity whilst my Dts were in NICU was walking past all the other wards full of flowers and balloons and cards, I desperately wanted people to celebrate by Dts birth too. So I would do it sooner rather than later, but you know then best. A little text to the dad saying you'd like to send something, where's best? Then he can let you know if not welcome.

totally agree with Peeling, mine were both desperately sick but they were mina and alive! i wanted cards etc asap.

Thank you so much for your help with this one! You've really been so quick - thank you, thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'd say that instant things - texts, a card and some flowers dropped off at the hospital etc would be fine, but you need to avoid the situation where the postman delivers a parcel of clothes, toys etc a couple of days after something terrible has happened. Maybe leave the main present until baby is safely home, then you can go round for a cuddle too!

Definitely send a card, flowers, whatever you would have done, though I agree with birds that maybe don't send clothes etc as that could be more difficult.

My (41w) baby was also unexpectedly in NICU, and it is such a massive shock - you just don't expect a full-term baby to be poorly. One thing that I found a little hard was that a lot of my friends didn't really acknowledge that it was very upsetting and difficult for us to be unexpectedly parted from DD, whereas I was so touched by other friends who simply acknowledged that it must be very a difficult time for us. Just coming on here and posting this thread shows that you are a lovely friend and that you care. I'd let her know how happy you are that the baby is here but that are there for her if she needs anything, and perhaps that she can let you know when they are ready to talk or see visitors.

Send food. Nice lovely snacks. I was so hungry when small was in SCBU and the hospital food was dire and extremely expensive.

Definitely cards of congratulations and something lovely for the baby. :)

how is babe?

Good news!

Baby is a fighter and has responded really well. There has been a blanket e-mail saying she should be out of SCBU and poss home a couple of days later.

She really is beautiful and I cant wait to see her. I did send a lovely pink "congrats" card (and to the grandparents too ). I live a few hundred miles from them so will wait until the dust has really settled before descending.

Mumsnet is great. I really needed to hear from someone who had gone through the experience and appreciate your help.

marvellous!!!! x