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Am I a nosy old parker or what?

9 replies

peskimo · 22/03/2012 15:37

Hi, long time lurkio here. Moved to post as I want to know if sahm-ing is turning me into a busybody.

Recently the man who owns the upstairs flat (originally 2 semis, now four flats) but lets it out asked us if we minded a young single man moving in upstairs. Of course we told him we weren't bothered as long as he's not having all nighters all the time.
So, this man moves in 2 weeks back with the help of some mates and, bless him, all he's got is a blow up camp bed, a sofa and a old stacker hi-fi. He's some sort of eastern european and so, beyond the odd smile and wave, we've not really had conversation yet. He also goes to work at 7am in his car.

Anyway, none of that is of any regard to me or you i'm sure - the thing is, there also appears to be a lady with a baby living there, she is home all day (like me) but, whereas me and DS are out and about, she and the baby never go out - I can say this with some sort of certainty, unless they leave the flat just after we do and return just before we get in (and we don't have much of a pattern).

There's a fair amount of muted baby noise and floorboards creaking and normal goings on throughout the day and at night when the baby cries, it is seen to after around half an hour.
I am starting to get a bit concerned as they've been there for 2 weeks now and I have only caught a glimpse of her (without baby) standing at the doorstep having a fag and when I've come out she's hustled herself back indoors sharpish.
There's no outward sign that there's a baby there, or even another adult, the chap doesn't even have a baby seat in his car!

Its all starting to look very mysterious.....or do I just have a wild and un-exercised imagination?

I really don't want to do what one friend suggested and call Social Services but its definitely starting to be a concern if this baby isn't getting outside.

I'm not really a very confident person myself but if your advice is to go round there with a pie, I guess I'll have to strap a pair on and do it. Or should I just back off and turn the radio up?

OP posts:
pictish · 22/03/2012 15:41

Maybe she or they are in this country unofficially, and they don't want her to be spotted.
I have no idea. If all seems calm, I'd be inclined to keep out of it.

peskimo · 22/03/2012 15:53

Thanks pictish and yes i'm not bothered about illegals or whatever, fair do's and all that but I feel sorry for the baby if it really isn't getting outdoors.

OP posts:
pictish · 22/03/2012 15:56

I don't know what to say. I couldn't see myself getting involved, but I do sympathise with your point.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 22/03/2012 15:57

Why not write a little note on a postcard about a baby group that you go to and ask her if she'd like to come with you?
Or see if she wants to come down for a coffee?

Or just keep out of it as maybe she's keeping herself to herself for a reason.

SparkyMcSparrow · 22/03/2012 15:57

Maybe pop up and ask her if she would like to come to the park or something.

I dont really know...tis a tricky one!

SparkyMcSparrow · 22/03/2012 15:58

x posted

peskimo · 22/03/2012 16:52

bumpety bump

OP posts:
Groovee · 22/03/2012 16:58

My friend employs a polish guy who is lovely but has expressed concern to my friend that his wife hides in their flat watching polish children's dvd's all day and not wanting to mix with anyone or attempt to learn english despite the fact she was the one who wanted to move here. Maybe they are just overwhelmed by the fact they have moved somewhere so different?

peskimo · 23/03/2012 09:15

I have come to the conclusion that they must go out at some point, if Mum smokes and they must needs nappies and stuff. God knows when though, maybe they do wait til we've gone round the corner then nip out. Or maybe 'dad' gets stuff on his way home from work.

I'm afraid, Squishy though your advice is welcome - I'm not the sort who goes in for baby groups or coffee chats, and I think that if I find them uncomfortable, upstairs lady would probably freak out!

That may be it Groovee and your point makes me feel sorry for them.

I've decided I'm going to give them a knock and take round some toys ds has grown out of, not sure of the age of the baby but he/she cries and shouts similar to mine. I'll suggest her baby might want to come and play sometime, we have tons of toys and books. No pressure. What do you think?

OP posts:
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