DS won't eat anything cold

[Shinyshoes1]

My DS won't eat anything cold.

He goes to school without taking lunch. I just thought it was something and nothing, i never ate lunch at school.
He'll eat if i gave him lunch money so he can have something hot but we are on a tight budget and I can't afford £2.50 a day. I have 2 school aged children.

I have tried to ignore it, but I caught him warming up ICE -CREAM in the microwave.

This has been going on for about 2 years or so now. I don't know what to do.

He has to eat EVERYTHING hot/warm.

He is a victim of sexual abuse and the paedophile got sent to prison for 14 years in November last year. I'm not sure this is relevant but this all started once the sex abuse came out and we were then involved in a case that took over 2 years to get to court.

He is seeing a councellor for the sexual abuse so he has someone to talk to.

I have tried talking to him about eating something/anything cold and he gets distressed and tells me he can't he just physically can't.

I don't know what to do now. Advice please
He will be 15 in June. The abuse started when he was about 10 years old. Like I said I don't know if the abuse is relevant but it all ties in around the same time and I believe it's phsycological

I am so sorry to read what has happened in your thread, i wouldnt like to try and offer suggestions regarding what he may or may not be feeling due to really not knowing what to say.
However if you look on a camping "store" on the web you may find a flask whick is a small dumpy shape (not sure of its correct name) which you would be able to send him in to school with the likes of spagetti or pasta, stew etc in and it works just like a flask, so will still be hot for him at lunchtime.
best of luck with the future x

Oh bless him, disordered eating is very common in victims of S.A.

I suggest you approach this with him through his counsellor and tackle it head on. It's very hard for boys esp to talk about food problems and ed labels like anorexia often don't fit, but you are describing disordered eating for sure. It's often about control and may also be linked to fear of recalling a physical memory of abuse. I won't speculate about what I'm sure its not necessary.

Sometimes S.A victims displace feelings of shame or of feeling dirty onto certain food types. In your ds case, cold food. I couldnt eat or touch wet food, its not logical to anyone but you at the time and can be hard to admit to. The best thing you can do is bring it out into the open and talk about it. We are only as sick as our secrets... Just knowing he doesn't have to keep any will help in time. Be patient and ignore the behaviour if you can. The S.A is almost certainly the issue here so only time, honesty and love will heal it. Def get his counsellor in the loop ASAP x good luck to you both x