My feed

to access all these features

Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.


It's rude to say no thank you to a gift offer, isn't it? But I feel awkward.

8 replies

SilentBoob · 11/03/2012 10:10

The class mum at my daughter's school has contacted me to say that instead of everyone buying me a little gift and me ending up with 20 little pink outfits for my new baby, they would like to club together and get me something I really need, like a high chair or a bouncer or something.

But they have ALREADY given me a pregnant Mum gift basket, and given my daughter a Big Sister present, and the class has made a lovely poster for the baby.

It's enough. I didn't expect any of it, to be honest, and I am very touched that they have made all this fuss, it is very sweet of them. I don't need MORE fuss. I don;t even know most of the mums all that well. I CERTAINLY don't think most of them would be getting me a baby present.

And my baby honestly, truly doesn't need anything. We have hand-me-down everything.

Was think of saying "that is so kind of you but honestly we don't need anything and you've done enough and thank you" but then I wondered if that would be rude.

Oh, AND she wants to organise a Meeting The Baby tea party. These are not women I have known all my life or even know all that well. I am new to the area and they all seem lovely, but I am not used to all this fuss.

Please advise.

OP posts:
feedthegoat · 11/03/2012 10:17

Maybe if you are new to the area that is why she is doing it? She might just be trying to help and to be honest, you might just make friends for life out of it should you want that.

I think I'd agree to the tea party saying something like that would be a lovely idea as long as it isn't too much trouble and just be upfront about gifts and say you are touched they thought of you but a little embarrassed. You could then make it light and chatty and mention that you have things already maybe?

Levantine · 11/03/2012 10:18

Could you go along with the tea party but put a stop to the present? I would feel a bit worried about people getting the wrong end of the stick and thinking that YOU were the one asking for contributions to a big ticket item.

If you've got everything you need, then you've got everything you need no? A lot of people are in that position with DC2

SilentBoob · 11/03/2012 13:10

I suppose I am wondering if class mum isn't being a bit overenthusiastic and railroading everyone into being a bit OTT. It is mortifying to think of some of the mums thinking "enough already, she's only had a baby!"

So you think it would be okay to say thank you, but really we don't need anything? And I am thinking I could pre-empt the tea party by taking the baby along to a school event next week. People can 'meet' her there.

OP posts:
FilterCoffee · 11/03/2012 13:23

I expect she is trying to make sure you feel included, and doesn't realise you didn't want all the fuss! But I think perhaps go along with the tea party - it's nice of someone to organise a party for you after all :) and you could make some good friends. Just keep saying to everyone how kind and unexpected it all is.

lisaro · 11/03/2012 13:27

What is a 'class mum'? And yes, it all seems a bit OTT, whoever she is.

ZillionChocolate · 13/03/2012 07:17

Sounds like she's trying to be nice. Could you be enthusiastic about the tea party and say that's all you want?

Alabama100 · 31/07/2012 13:33

Yes I does sound a tad ott but maybe they're just trying to make you feel included or another perspective could be that the other mums are enjoying things like present buying, baby tea parties etc so is fun for them as well.

Personally I would be very gracious and accept what they are offering and send them all lovely thank you notes when you have the time. Thy clearly want to do this for you.

CaliforniaLeaving · 17/08/2012 22:51

That does seems OTT but also sweet wanting to make you feel welcome.
I'd probably say we don't need anything and accept the tea invite as that is a nice social thing. But remind her gifts are not needed as you have everything.
Maybe if they are determined to do something, they can take turns bringing your tea or light dinner round for a few days so you don't need to cook when you get home with the baby.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.