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Would you do anything or just let it go?

10 replies

GloryandSoap · 22/02/2012 18:13

It was my birthday last week and DH didn't get me a card or present from either him or DS. We were visiting ILs at the time with DS and a friend of ours, and I did ask him what he was doing for my birthday. In the end he took me and the friend for a chinese the day after and got his sister to babysit DS by saying "GloryandSoap wants you to babysit tonight".

On our return from ILs, I did say to DH that I was disappointed that he hadn't really done anything about my birthday and he just said "Iknow, I kind of forgot".

In addition, last year was DH's 40th in July and for my 38th birthday the previous February, he organised a babysitter for us to have a night away at a nice hotel in London with dinner at a posh restaurant. It was lovely but he did kind of spoil it by telling me in the taxi on the way there that the reason he was doing it was because it was his 40th a few months later and I'd have to do something really special seeing as he'd done this for an "ordinary" 38th birthday. I did organise him a surprise party at a pub with a band with mutual friends and I managed to invite some of his friends from work, as well as getting him a few decent presents.

Am I being childish to resent the fact that he's practically ignored my birthday this year? Or if not, would you say or do anything else or just leave it now?

OP posts:
Gumby · 22/02/2012 18:16

I'd leave it now
But next year just order in a takeaway on his birthday

solidgoldbrass · 22/02/2012 18:17

It doesn't sound very nice. What's been the birthday policy in other years?

overmydeadbody · 22/02/2012 18:20

How long have you been together?

It sounds like he just put no effort in.

Make sure in a few months when it is his birthday you 'forget' it.

GloryandSoap · 22/02/2012 18:22

We generally spend £30-£100 dependant on whether there is anything obvious that we want to get the other. Normally if DH is stuck he gets me a beauty treatment voucher as he knows he can't go wrong with that.
Tbf, he comes from a family where adult birthdays aren't anything special. His parents and siblings would normally send a card with a couple of scratchcards inside.

Maybe I'll wait and see what he does for Mothers Day with 2yo DS....

OP posts:
GloryandSoap · 22/02/2012 18:23

We've been together 8yrs and married for 6yrs

OP posts:
Nagoo · 22/02/2012 18:25

Don't wait.

Lay it on really thick that you want to 'celebrate' mother's day.

I bet he will not think of doing anything for you on his own.

Nagoo · 22/02/2012 18:26

I am spiteful enough to respond in kind though, if DH were to 'forget' my birthday'.

GloryandSoap · 22/02/2012 18:41

I'd really like for DH to think he'd better make an effort for Mothers Day but that's not going to happen is it....
It's my 40th next year so I'm expecting big things then Grin

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 22/02/2012 18:51

DP somehow interpreted a conversation we had as adecision not to give each other Christmas presents. A couple of days later, when I was less upset and back home from visiting family, I expressed my disappointment that he didn't respect me enough to even spend a quid in a charity shop on a book (I read a LOT)

I even got flowers on Valentine's, and we'd previously agreed we thought that was all a marketing ploy.

Tell him how hurt you are that he doesn't even show you as much respect as a distant Facebook acquaintance Grin

solidgoldbrass · 22/02/2012 23:20

Hmm, if you haven't previously, either of you, bothered very much with birthdays then it's not that bad of him not to have done much this time. I think it might be an idea to sit down and have a chat about it, about how much birthdays (significant or not) mean to each of you, and an agreement that you will either make an effort for each other's birthday, or leave it at a token card and packet of sweeties unless it's one with an 0 at the end of it.

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