WWYD - a second DC vs a change of career?

[BigFatSpider]

I'm in a quandry. Have one DS, 4.10.

I work full time in an admin job in Banking, which pays slightly above average for a PA as I've been there an eternity (11+ years). I am the main earner in the family, DH earns c.10k less.

Financially we could now consider having a second DC in the next year or two. I would LOVE another, DH worries about money but would like another too.

But but but... I want to go into paediatric nursing. It's a pull I've felt since adolescence but I'm finding it harder and harder to ignore.

There are funded courses at the University in my city. I meet the basic entry requirements (degree qualified). Would need to show evidence of recent study as I graduated in 1998, but could feasibly take OU human biology/health & social care courses (outside work hours) over the next year. If I'm accepted for Sept 2013 entry DS will be well established at school, and by the time I qualify will be almost at secondary school, so much more independent and more able to cope with my shift work. (Realise there's shift work as part of the training too.)

Would you do it - sacrifice a larger family for a complete change in career that would fulfil you? I would so love a second child, but I can't ignore this yearning to go into Nursing. I'm 35 - I've wasted enough years metaphorically wiping Executive's arses, now I want to do it for real, for people who actually need the care!

If I'm successful and get accepted, I'm realistically closing the chapter on another baby. What would you do?

IMO, if it were me and if I was 35 I'd try for another baby now. That possibility of a change of career will always be there, as there will always be a need for nurses and training chances for nursing.

At 35 you know yourself about declining fertility rates...

Maybe you could give yourself a timeframe to focus on - such as TTC for 3 years and if it doesn't happen then stop trying and apply to nursing course.

Think about how much you want another child and how you'd feel if you didn't try.

There's nothing wrong with having one child, is just up to you and your DP what you think is best for the family.

I think I'd go with Needles advice. (I am a nurse, so understand your vocation). However I'm also Very keen on another child, and I think I'd be reluctant to start something that would rule that out for 3 years.

Would you be able to afford childcare for 2, as well as working shifts while training and not earning salary of your own?

Good luck whatever you decide. I think only you can make that decision, realistically.

Thanks so much for your replies :)

It's such a difficult one - there's no way I could afford childcare for two whilst training/shift working, which is why I haven't been able to entertain it seriously until now, when DS is out of nursery and in school. To TTC, then go through another 4 years of struggling financially with DC2 in nursery, then another 3 years of no earning whilst training... I just don't see how I can have both :( Do people really start vocations like nursing in their mid forties?

You've both given me food for thought, though, so thanks again!

I don't know about no earning, I think you may be able to get bursary, although not much and probably means tested on your husbands wage. Why don't you go to your local uni and talk to admissions tutor for nursing?

Thanks, Smile - I've booked myself on the next Open Day at the School of Nursing (in mid March) so will speak to the Admissions tutor about bursaries etc. then. I just so don't want to give up hope!

My friend's father started his mental health nurse degree at the age of 45. Qualified at 48. Working as a RMN for the last 5 years. So it is possible.

Bear thank you - that really gives me hope that all might not be lost! :)

There were plenty of people in their 40s when I did my nurse training, and retirement age is now up to about 68 so plenty of time to build a career.

Also what is the job situation like for nurses in your city? Lots of nurses who qualified in recent times have really struggled to get work due to vacancy freezes etc, and if you are paed trained that reduces the amount of jobs even more. If there isn't a sizeable children's hospital/children's services in your trust perhaps you should consider adult branch instead? You could potentially go on to work with children, I have friends who do school nursing, health visiting etc who were all adult trained.

It's especially tough to get work for those who have commitments e.g. partner's job, DC, as they can't move where the work is in the way the young/single people can.

If you want another baby have one. Nursing will still be there in another few years and it might not be all you've dreamed of - the work can be wonderful but the job has changed a lot in recent years and the politics and working conditions can really grind you down (ex nurse). You won't regret trying on your "dream career" for size but you might regret not having a second child, particularly when you are a knackered staff nurse on a week of nights or your fourth long day in a row!

Thanks, Suddenly - it's looking more and more likely (after discussion with DH, who is completely supportive of me wanting to follow this career, but altogether less enthusiastic about what it will actually mean for our family finances) that if it's going to happen, it'll be when I'm mid forties rather than thirties.

There's a lot of demand for children's nurses in my city (our 'local' was recently opened by Michael Douglas and Catherine Z-J!) but understand what you mean about restrictions on work available if you're paed-trained. More to chew over.

I still feel the need to pursue it, though (it's like an itch I can't stop scratching) so thanks again for the insight. If in 10 years time you see me whinging about shift patterns, please retain the right to say 'I told you so'! :)