H and I are separating as of last weekend as he has been having an affair (which I found out about a few months ago) and he has finally decided (yes, I know I should have decided for him long before now) that his future lies with her not me. She is one of his colleagues and has a daughter a similar age to ours. The two families had socialised together and with other of their colleagues on loads of occassions whilst the affair was going on unbeknownst to me, her husband, or anyone else. Next Friday is one of their colleagues, who I also consider to be a friend, birthdays and they are celebrating in a local pub to coincide withe the monthly pub quiz. H and OW are planning to go and it will be the first time that they have been out together publically. I really want to go, both to celebrate my friend's birthday and to do the pub quiz which I have done the last two months, the first time with H and the birthday boy and his wife as well as some other mutual friends and the second time with all of the above except H who was away. I know it will be incredibly difficult to be in the same room as H and OW and with everyone else knowing what has happened but part of me wants to put a brave face on things and show everyone that I have every intention of carrying on with my life regardless. I also don't see why I should have to miss this social occasion when they aren't that frequent due to childcare and other commitments. I also know that there is no point avoiding places where I know she is going to be as it is just as likely that I will bump into her/them in the street/shops/etc. So, what should I do? And if I decide to go should I request a meeting with her beforehand so that it isn't the first time I've seen her since this all blew up? Or regardless should I demand a meeting on my terms rather than constantly wandering whether I'm going to bump into her?