Death & children & returning to work

[Jojoks]

I went back to work after 7 months for my second child. I had no choice I'm the breadwinner and my husband and MIL look after the boys (7 months and 2.5yrs). So my first issues were sleep, losing control after finally regaining it, allowing us to look after my boys and work which is long hours. I find this difficult. But 10days before going back it got much more serious my husband lost his father very suddenly and our world fell apart. Everything else still happened but now we have 0 communication. He no longer talks to anyone really except the boys and I can do nothing right/helpful. So we're exhausted, lonely and struggling. But my husband is very private so turning to others even for me is a nono. I'm crying a lot privately going to bed early and soldiering on. What else can I do??

Hi, i'm sorry to hear about your father=inlaw and that your husband is struggling with the loss. When I lost my father suddenly my way of coping was going to work three weeks afterwards. Where I was with colleagues who understood what it was like to loose a parent - which helped a lot. If I'd have stopped at home dwelling on events it would have been a lot more difficult to come to terms with. But has I say everyone is different in my experience. Your husband sounds like he needs help to deal with it. I would contact cruse for more advice if I was you. Hope it gets better soon.