Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

wwyd?

101 replies

MairyHinge · 08/01/2012 19:24

Ok, so bought 15yr old dd a tablet for Xmas, was £130, half price in HMV. It's an archos. She wanted an iPad.
I was vvv lucky in that i got an iPad!
Dd was rather put out Xmas day when she saw my iPad, but seemed to come round and was happy with her tablet.
So today she sets the table without complaining. Eats all her dinner without moaning and even eats her cabbage!,
I should have known something was wrong.....

She has her bedroom in the coverted cellar, it's like a den and it's hers, we rarely venture into the pit of hell it.
Today she said " you never come down to see me" I felt guilty so went down for a chat....
She begged me not to be cross... She has smashed the screen on her tablet
I Am devastated. She's really upset, and has offered me her £90 Xmas money but I haven't taken it.
I don't know what to do.
It's unusable btw.
Just wondered what you lot would do?
Home insurance excess is £100 so not worth claiming really.
I'm thinking she will have to save up and replace it......
What do you think?

OP posts:

whatstheetiquette · 09/01/2012 07:56

Mairy, what about if you and her together sorted out and organised her room. Chuck out stuff she no longer needs and make sure the rest is organised and everything has a place? It might help her to look after her posessions (not just the computing stuff) better as when you can see nowhere to put something, it is tempting to chuck it on the bed.

Original poster

MairyHinge · 09/01/2012 08:11

Again, thanks whatthe, but it's been done, sooooooooooo many times before. She is just a pig!

OP posts:

boredandrestless · 09/01/2012 08:21

Shocked at some of these responses!

Surely at 15 you should realise that a hard working ADULT may perhaps be receiving/able to buy a more expensive/high end gift than is given to a CHILD.
OP had skipped getting her own phone upgraded to give her dd a blackberry (no mention that it was for a birthday from what I can see it was just given as she was desperate for one). Learning you can't have everything you want is just a good a lesson as learning that if you don't look after your things and damage them then you go without.

A friend of mine has just had her Ipad screen replaced as she dropped it and it cracked, she was very relieved it could be repaired!

Chandon · 09/01/2012 10:21

let her sort it out herself. 15 is quite a grown up age. She could even call the Tablet manufacturer and see if it is in any way under warranty.

She could do baby sitting for a few months and save up for a new one.

Maybe she was even deliberately careless with it as it wasn't what she wanted? ...And even if it was genuine, she needs to learn (the hard way) to look after her stuff.

(my 9 year old broke his camera through rough play. I tried to fix it, but did not replace it for him. They have to learn to look after things and be careful, at any age. Otherwise they'll be careless and think "Oh...my mum/dad will just get me a new one")

God I sound so HARD

bananatrifle · 09/01/2012 10:40

How about her £90 goes towards getting it replaced on the insurance - goes to pay the excess? Although, be wary of higher premiums then.

It'll probably help her assuage her guilt over her tablet being broken (however it happened) and will definitely remind her to look after things a bit better.

I definitely don't agree with Squeaky and Trois about you not being able to enjoy the gift you received, just because it was what your daughter wanted. I'm definitely more on thepeoplesprincess wavelength on this one.

When I was 15 I wanted the blinking world.......... still waiting 28 years later.........

bananatrifle · 09/01/2012 10:48

Just read a bit more on the previous pages:

I wonder if she would have taken better care of an ipad than the tablet she got.

I am completely and utterly astounded at that comment. My god.

She should take care of whatever she's given!!!! The tablet was not a cheap present and as others have said, it's a good job she didn't get an iPad.

God!!! I feel so amazed and almost angry at this way of thinking........give them everything and when they break it give them more......................

Life's not like that!!!!!

SaraBellumHertz · 09/01/2012 10:48

I agree with squeaky in so far as there is something a bit odd about getting an iPad when that is what your DD really wanted.

Although I suppose it is just as well given she broke it - do you know how it happened?

In our house if the budget was limited the DC's would come first. They just would.

Gay40 · 09/01/2012 10:50

I'm with the OP on this one. Kids do not have the right to bigger and better stuff than their parents. For a start they don't take care of things they have not earned for themselves. What sort of lesson is that to teach a kid - you can have anything you want and break it all you like, we'll just replace it? MY ARSE.

bananatrifle · 09/01/2012 10:54

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks like we do, Gay40.

ChitChatInChaos · 09/01/2012 11:06

Nothing odd about getting an iPad when your DC don't. (Unless you ALWAYS treat yourself to the latest gadget going and never buy anything decent for you DC.)

If she had REALLY wanted one, then she would have worked towards getting one - eg, asking for half the value as a present and earning the other half through jobs, etc. She didn't. A good way of teaching her that she will have to work for things, and might actually teach her to respect them once she has them.

PattiMayor · 09/01/2012 11:08

I actually find some of the posts on this thread quite disturbing and worry that some people are bringing their children up with an overweening sense of self-importance and entitlement which is really unhealthy.

PopcornMouse · 09/01/2012 11:09

Agree with squeaky et al. It would rip me apart, being the cause of a crestfallen face on Christmas morning. Nobody's saying you shouldn't get an ipad, op, but on xmas morning infront of dd? :(

I'm also genuinely over the consensus being that on the one hand, she's 15 and adult enough to look after her stuff and replace it herself, but then also saying she's not enough of an adult to go out and work (though isn't school working hard when you're 15?) and so is not entitled to have as nice stuff as her parents.

That said, I wouldn't replace it, personally.

LtEveDallas · 09/01/2012 11:14

Between the ages of 10 and 12 DSD had a total of 8 phones - all were broken by her.

DH finally said 'no more' and stopped replacing them. She threw an absolute tantrum. He mum threw one at us as well. But we stuck to our guns and didn't replace the final breakage (we did however give her an old Nokia 5210). Once it was her mum that bought them (and wouldn't buy the 'next big thing') she took better care.

When she was 14 she wanted an IPod Nano for her birthday. We resisted for a while (she'd had a Shuffle the year before that she stood on within 2 weeks breaking the clip). We gave in. The next time we saw her she didnt have it with her, nor the next time. When we finally asked we discovered that she'd broken it by putting her straighteners on top of it (switched on) and leaving them like that when she went to school . She could have burned the bloody house down.

Since then (2 years) she only gets money. We give her a good amount that she is to use to get herself whatever it is she wants...but that's it, no replacements, nothing. Funnily enough she takes much better care of her things now - because she has to buy and replace them.

NinkyNonker · 09/01/2012 11:37

I would never have dreamt of acting crestfallen over a very expensive Christmas present because my mother, who had spent her money on my present, and forgone her own upgrade to get me the smart phone I needed (wtf, she's 15?!) got a better one. I would be thoroughly ashamed of myself and would expect to be reprimanded for being spoilt and ungrateful. I am amazed at the number of parents on here advocating and justifying this spoilt behaviour, and telling the OP she is the one in the wrong! Amazing!

Chandon · 09/01/2012 11:55

agree

AKMD · 09/01/2012 12:23

^what NN said.

1sassylassy · 09/01/2012 12:55

Whatever happens,if you get it repaired or she saves up and replaces it,please invest in a good cover,these things do break easily.

Original poster

MairyHinge · 09/01/2012 13:32

Thanks again for all your points.
I cannot and will not feel guilty for having my iPad, as I have said, she wanted one, but only because " everyone else has got one" yeah right.
Just like " everyone has a blackberry" so I got one as my upgrade for her....she does NOT go without, and gets a lot. If she's going to town with a friend I will just give her a £10, to treat herself, so she is far from hard done by, believe me!
Her face was not crestfallen when she saw my iPad Xmas day, and I told her not to act like a spoilt ungrateful child, she had a very good, very reasonable tablet.
Don't think we will claim on house insurance, but will look at her replacing it. She turned her nose up at doing " other" jobs to earn money to replace it, so maybe she's just not that bothered?

OP posts:

bananatrifle · 09/01/2012 13:50

Stick to your guns, MairyHinge - you've got exactly the right approach to this, so don't be swayed by the 'poor little hard done by girl' feelings posted on this thread.

It's really interesting to see, actually, how divided we all seem to be on it, that there are 2 completely opposing points of view.

I agree, if she's not that bothered by it, then don't claim on house insurance as your premiums will go up (been there, done that).

SaraBellumHertz · 09/01/2012 14:30

banana I think in relation to the important bit of the thread, namely WWYD re ignoring/fixing/replacing the tablet there is pretty much universal agreement that it is the responsibility of the OP's DD and the OP need do nothing.

The issue of whether you would buy your DH/DW something that your DS/DD really wanted and give them the cheaper version is far more interesting though

Gay40 · 09/01/2012 14:31

If she's not prepared to do jobs to replace it, I'd leave her to it. But no taking your ipad and breaking that, either.

Gay40 · 09/01/2012 14:36

My DD (10) wants an ipad and an iphone. The answer is no, because these are very expensive items and besides, she is too young to take proper care of them. Hence the £10 phone from ebay (lost), the £10 phone from ebay (broken) and my old phone (sits in drawer, not interested).
After one heated conversation about everyone else having these items - which is a no-go as I never cave in to what everyone else says, does or has - she accidently dropped the netbook off bunk beds through carelessness. Nicely proving my point for the rest of 2012.
Also not prepared to do jobs round the house to save up for extra frivolities she fancies. So 2012 is going to be a cheap year.

ChristmasIsGone · 09/01/2012 14:57

I am a bit [shocked] at all these comments tbh.

No one needs a blackberry or an ipad, neither a 15yo nor an adult. You don't need it. You might fancy it, find it usefull but not needing it.

I am umconfortable with the OP getting an ipad because it tells her dd that she is right and ipad is a wonderful thing. If the tablet she got for her dd was that good and just the same as an ipad, why didn't she get one for herself too?

I also can't quite understand this need of making the dd replace the tablet, work for it or whatever else.
I am very sure that she can decide what she wants to do for herself and ask if she could some more jobs around the house for some more pocket money if she sees it fit.
I can not see the point of making such a big hoohaa about it. She broke it, she doesn't have a tablet anymore, she decides what she wants to do about it.

Gay40, I would hate being your dd and being told 'No you won't be getting X because you are too careless'.
I am sure that not having the netbook and knowing she broke it is enough of a 'punishment' without needing to loose somethingelse again.

G1nger · 09/01/2012 15:04

We bought a laptop for the two eldest nieces. They've never been taught responsibility and are so very spoilt. They think nothing of asking for expensive toys (ds lite thingy etc). We're responsible for maintaining the laptop if it has any problems. The last time we went there, we were told it wouldn't work properly and they thought it had a virus. We looked at it and its hard-drive was hanging off - the cover plate in another room. They wouldn't even come clean as to how it happened. Apparently it just fell off (and they couldn't be arsed screwing it back on/asking us to do so. They also don't look after their things. Personally, after years of trying to do right by them I'm fed up of their behaviour.

neutrinoghost · 09/01/2012 15:11

Quote " I regularly see them on the high street for £99
"

Really? From where? I think you're mistaking an ipad for an ipod.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5