Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

worried about DD lack of friends

6 replies

sensesworkingovertime · 30/12/2011 16:16

I would love some help/advice if there is any out there. My DD, she'll be 10 quite soon, has virtually no friends to play with at home. I say virtually, she plays with her only sibling (brother) and his mate and occassionlly a couple of other children round the corner (who aren't that pleasant) but it is slim pickings where we live for children to play with. To begin with there are a lot of elderly people where we live and the children that do live around here don't seem to play outside (by the way does anyone else think this is a sign of the times or just me, when I grew up in the 70's were seemed to be outside most of the time) so it's not as if she can casually meet another child.
she dislikes anything girlish eg. Justin Beiber, Disney, High school musical etc etc and doesn't tend to pal out with girls at school. She is very bright, imaginative and has a great sense of humour, she would have a lot to give a like-minded child. I spend most of my days feeling in despair for her although she seems happy on the whole I know she is missing out on friendship and play. I just I could wave a magic wand sometimes and produce one decent little friend for her!

OP posts:
shouldbeelswhere · 30/12/2011 16:29

I feel abit like this with my 7yr old DS I just hope that one day a special friend will come along. I think they maybe just don't know what they're missing and some day, some place they will find that special person. I'm not sure it's something you can engineer.

Oblomov · 30/12/2011 16:43

sign of the times i fear. no one had 'playdates', when i was growing up, because we were too busy playing outside with all the kids who lived in our close, regardless of age.

worriedsilly · 30/12/2011 16:52

OMG she can be friends with my dd! She doesn't kike anything remotely girlie, and got a marble run for Christmas.

No children nearby and school girls are all about shows, dancing, lip gloss and playing mummys and daddys.

I was the same. My best friends as a child were the 70 years olds next door. Then I got to 16 and discovered indie music, grungy stuff and found more geeks to hang out with Grin

I was fine, if a little lonely in childhood. I feel sad for my dd that she is and will bel onely, but I cant see an alternative and I knw she will be ok. Just not socially at ease and 'standard'.

On the plus side she and I were blooming clever - despite being in a crap school in a crap estate with friends all pregnant at 14-16. Crawled my way to uni against all odds. I suspect my dd will be the same sort. Gets more comfort in knowing things that being accepted.

I have tried playdtates to build bridges for her. They all end the same. DD in one room playing on her own in her own worrld, me in another playing with the giuest. I've given up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

scattyspice · 30/12/2011 17:04

Kids don't play out round here either, too much traffic. My DD seems to find having friends invited to play as stressfull too (always ends in tears). She gets most of her social life from her dance club and rainbows.

sensesworkingovertime · 30/12/2011 18:29

thank you so much for your responses, very reassuring to know I'm not the only one, although I wouldn't wish this worry on anyone else. I know what 'worriedsilly' means about arranging playmates to come over, it rarely ends well so it's better when they start sorting things out themselves. Another thing, does anyone else get stressed about this endless birthday party nonsense, seems 'the bigger and more showy the better' or is it just a bitter taste to me because my DD virtually never gets invited to anything like that.? My sister-in-law is now past the party/outings stage and is booking holidays as birthday presents! Don't know whether it's because we had no money growing up but it's just all too ostentatious for me and it seems to be getting worse.

OP posts:
worriedsilly · 30/12/2011 18:46

Jeez holidays!!!?? We have bowling and pamper parties in these parts. DD has never been invited to a party in her own right, only when it was whole class. It makes me a bit bitter as I hear about all the birthday plans - like a way of life me and dd just can't have. Although I have hopes for dd2. She seems more 'standard girl'

All we can do is Ignore ignore ignore the competitive nature of our own and others feelings in regards to parenting parties etc. It's natural but makes us crazy adn those other mums, I assume, skint. Does make me a little sad though. Can't be helped.

You and she are not alone. Maybe they'll meet at uni or something and be each other's bridesmaids and friends for life. x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page