Downshifting out of London -WWYD and experiences please!

[philbee]

We live in South London in a fixer upper which is nearly fixed up. We moved here a few years ago and like it here, the area's improving, schools are good, people are friendly. But to afford our mortgage, bills etc. DH has to work full time (he earns more than me, and feels he can't ask for part time work). I also work a few hours a week. He'd like to spend more time with DD (3) and I'd like to retrain, which just doesn't seem possible with our current situation (course is two years full time, no hols as there are placements). It's very possible DH will be made redundant next year, and we are thinking of trying to change our lifestyle if that does happen.

Houses near us have sold recently for a lot more than we paid, and we are thinking about selling up and moving somewhere near Leeds, Manchester, Sheffield area. If we can sell our house here for nearly what others have gone for in the road we could buy a house outright there or just have a small mortgage, DH could work less (assuming he got a job), and I could do the course there or work part time myself (again, assuming). We'd be nearer countryside and walks, but further away from relatives, all in London and a big part of our lives now. We'd also have to accept we probably couldn't move back here, and DH would have to accept a less ambitious career.

Has anyone done this? Does it seem advisable? Lots of variables I know, but a simpler, less work intensive life seems so attractive and would mean that I could start to do more outside the home too, which I'd like. I worry about work and DH losing his place on the career ladder - but I also think that might just be a load of made up crap and we should maximise time with DD if we can. It's very early days - but all opinions welcome.

Hiya,

We left South London this year (although to France) largely for quality of life reasons. We moved to a regional capital of several hundred thousand people, so quite a change. But it's really the best thing we've ever done. Everything is cheaper, we can afford to live more centrally so we can walk everywhere, it's easier to get to the countryside and enjoy the outdoors. London is so expensive, it feels like you have to work all the time just for a basic standard of living.

I do miss London sometimes but overall we are much happier here.

I think the main thing to think about is career and work. Are you sure your DH would be happy in the long term with a less ambitious career? i've seen a number of threads on here where people move out of London, but then the DH misses the high-flying job and wants to go back.

For us, we may end up back in London, because there aren't really any jobs for me here (I'm finishing a phd right now). But we're not going back unless I get a very high-paid job and we can afford a slightly better lifestyle (and school catchment).

I'm a real city girl (from new york originally) but even still, London just got to be too much. I feel like things really turned when the economy nosedived, and I'm curious whether things will get even worse in the next few years.

I think the work thing would be an issue. DH's job isn't hugely high-flying, he's not in finance or anything. But I think that he's forgotten that its a bit sh*t doing a job you're not fussed about, even part time. But, on the other hand, it seems fairer if we can both do part time things, and it's possible he could find something similar there. His work have an office in Leeds and I think if he wasn't under threat of redundancy he would feel he could ask for part time working instead.

It's just the idea that we could be somewhere where our lifestyle was more flexible, where we could survive on either mine or his wages, or a combination of both part time that I'd like.

I also feel like London's different for me now, but I think it's more because I'm at home a lot, and I find the hustle and bustle pointless and stressful rather than exciting now. And we are very near where a lot of the riots happened in August, which soured things a lot for me I think.

I did this - a few years ago (seven in fact). It's been tough in lots of ways. My career died fairly promptly which actually led me to have the DC (well I figured why not) But in terms of quality of life. It's fanfuckingtastic. No mortgage, bills are paid for, we work very little compared to most people. The kids are in a great (state) primary and there's life and culture on the doorstep when we need it but are away from the hustle and bustle when we want to be too. I didn't move as far north as you are talking but from what I've met of people from those areas they are enormously welcoming and positive in a way I never found in London. Good luck to you :)

Hi whomovedmychocolate, interesting stuff, thank you. In what ways was it tough for you? I feel like my 'career', such as it was, has kind of come to a natural end or point of change anyway. I'm doing a job at the level and in a career I was at ten years ago, part time. So I feel like it wouldn't be that different there, although I would still like to work or retrain. As I said before, DH's career is a different story, and having been through the loss of status myself after I decided to stay home with DD after mat leave, I think he would find it hard.

The difficulties for me were that it was so weird being at home and we had to do so much work to the house. Which was a full time job for a few years. Lack of status was an issue. Not knowing anyone in a tiny village which was very judgey was hard. But it was still worth it.

Thank you. We need to talk about this stuff, and also look realistically at what work options there would be for us there. I can't decide if it's daft to try to undertake such a move, or whether it's daft to stay here when we could happily live somewhere else with no debt and less need to work. Thanks for your experiences.

Being mortgage free is wonderful. Knowing you own the house, the whole house and you have something that is just yours is fab.

It's not all roses but getting away from London was one of the best things I ever did. I always felt like it was a place for a few years but just too bloody busy for me long term.

I've always lived in London and until recently I really felt I'd be here long term. But I just don't feel like that any more, and I worry about DD being here as a teenager and the other teenagers she'd come across then and what they'd be into and up to. I lived in a posher bit of London as a teenager, but we can't afford anywhere like that ourselves. I think a smaller place with more of a sense of community might be easier for her to be in at that time.

We took the plunge and moved from Surrey (not the lovely leafy bit!) to Gloucestershire a few years back. I can honestly say I have NEVER regretted it. Lots more to do, nicer house, less stress, more sense of community......
There are places you can talk to strangers in the supermarket etc without them calling the police/men in White coats!

It would be good to be mortgage free. It does seem silly to sit on the difference in the house price and still be working hard to pay the mortgage when we could just have the difference and buy somewhere in a place we'd be as happy in elsewhere.

When I visited Sheffield years ago with my London guard up I found it really scary that people talked to me in shops, I was like 'what does he WANT?' But I think having DD has really changed that in me. I really enjoy talking to people now, and I could do with having that a bit more really. People aren't unfriendly here, necessarily, but it's just that there are so many people that they just aren't interested in talking to everyone.

I think my main issues with it are leaving family, who are all here in South London, and whether there would be work for me and DH there. But I just need to investigate that a bit further really. Family's tricky though.

My mum visited once and loved it so much she moved too!