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Mother in Law

31 replies

CrashLanded · 20/12/2011 18:07

Ever since my sister-in-law (my MIL's daughter) has had a baby, my once really supportive and kind MIL seems to have turned against me. She makes some really snide remarks, that so far I have ignored.

This morning, I received a Christmas card from MIL and FIL. With a Christmas card (large one) was a photo of MIL with my husband on his graduation day 15 years ago!

I'm not sure how I am suppose to interpret that - I find the action of enclosing a 5x7 photo of an event 15 years ago very odd. I asked my husband whether he had asked for a copy, and he said no.

I have my own interpretation. It's a "look aren't you lucky to have married my son. He's a graduate" sort of thing.

MIL never believed that I too, graduated from a top university with a BSc(hons) and an MSc.

I have two options:
1). Continue to ignore such petty sh*te or
2). Like MIL, send my MIL a photocopy (done at Jessops) of my mum hugging me on my graduation day with a note on the back saying something like "my mother was excited and proud on my graduation too!"

I fear that if I opt for option 1, this sort of pettiness will continue so option 2 looks attractive to me, in the hope that it will put an end to these attempts to undermine my self-esteem, as I see it. But I'm biased of course.

What would you do?

Would you choose option 1 or 2?

OP posts:
BerthaTheBogBurglar · 22/12/2011 12:06

Well done!

Me, I'd send her the double frame as a Christmas present (evil emoticon). And then get very upset if I didn't see it prominently on display when I visited her house. And loudly want to know why she sent the photo if she wasn't proud that her son and DIL had degrees?

Haberdashery · 22/12/2011 12:56

Your husband sounds lovely. Glad you have the support you need from him.

Zipitydooda · 22/12/2011 13:17

Glad your husband is so lovely.

Maybe the way to tackle this is to start with yourself, I know your MIL is really annoying BUT is shouldn't matter so much what she thinks.

It seems to me that you are insecure about your position in life. It really doesn't matter one bit whether you went to university, whether you are a SAHM or not, these things are just aspects of you as a person, be happy with the person that you are and she will not be able to affect you so much.

Rise above it, as my dad would say.

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SnowFunIntended · 22/12/2011 17:42

Yay, go you, and go DH!

MynameisnotEarl · 22/12/2011 19:30

Well done - and good for your DH supporting you (as he should).

suburbophobe · 22/12/2011 20:04

I think Zipity makes a good point.

You have to learn to rise above it, like water off a duck's back...

You can't change other's people's behaviour, only your reaction to it.

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