Stuck in the middle here, so wwyd?

[oflip]

Just need to see what the majority would do...

I am booked to babysit for my friend so that she can go to her works Christmas do in December.
Havent told dh as forgot about it.
Came in from work last night and he tells me with a big grin that he has booked a little weekend away in our new caravan....on the weekend of my friends do.

Freind suggested yesterday that i have her baby overnight instead of going to her house...i felt a bit pressured so said, ok.

Now dont know who to let down

btw friend has no family at all near by to babysit for her, i do all of her babysitting. she has bought tickets for her & her dh already.

You made the commitment to your friend first. You have to honour it.

i know but dh isnt going to be happy as i already babysit for her every week, and this is going to another night. And other times too.
He is going to give me shit.

Oh well. You messed up. Sorry, but you did, you can't let your friend down because your husband acts like a child.

If I were you I would tell dh your predicament. Firstly as you're going to stay in your own caravan presumably the only thing he's done is book a plot on a site which probably didn't involve too large a deposit - they might even swap it for another weekend. Secondly, before he does that you could ring round to see if there's anyone who would do the babysitting for you that would be acceptable to your friend. If you find someone then you can go on the weekend, if you can't then your dh will have to re-book.

aww Dh not being a child, he gets irritated because i work FT have a ds and then traips out every week to babysit for her. Its gone midnight before they get in and i then have to get up for work the next day. He thinks its too much, but says its up to me.
He thought he was doing a nice thing for us, not his fault i forgot.
Concensus is to babysit for my frined, dont really want to have her overnight here though. But i can see its going to be very very late before they get home. Might be better.

OTOH while I agree you shouldn't let your friend down when you've arranged something on this occasion, why are you babysitting this much when you have your own family, job, etc? If the arrangement works both ways that's fine but, if it's always you helping her out, maybe you need to back out a bit and spend that time with your own DH and DS

feel bad for her, no one to give her any time off. i know how that feels & wouldnt wish it on any one.
Also the once a week thing is after i have put my child to bed, so doesnt miss me. Dh quite happy hogging the telly one night a week
But its getting more and more, im practicing saying "NO" im no good at it though! Getting better!

I would just be honest with your friend and say your dh has a suprise for you....and it happens to be on the same date as her night out.Say he has already paid for the weekend away so you are really sorry but you can not babysit that evening.You sound like a very faithful friend to her and by the sounds of things already help her out so much,which you do not have to do....so I would not feel bad.I always put my family first .

I think this could be a very good test of how much of a true friend you are from her point of view.

If she values you as a friend and is truly grateful for the huge amount of help you give her then she'll be understanding if you say you now can't do it.

If however, she kicks off at you then you'll know she is just using you as a source of free babysitting and isn't a friend at all. In which case you can walk away with a clear conscience from the whole thing.

I'd tell her you can't do it because the initial impression I get from your posts is that she's taking advantage a bit in how much she expects of you.