what would you do?

[chillichoc]

Somebody who works at the same place as me doesn't seem to be that happy, I know that they are very short of money as she's a single parent with 3 children. She puts her children first the whole time and her job involves caring for others as well, plus I know that her mother is seriously ill but lives somewhere else and she can't afford to go and visit her.
I would like to be able to help her but she keeps herself to herself and doesn't come to any social events, she can't afford to but she wouldn't accept any help if it was offered I expect.
She always has a smile for anybody and a kind word for people who are down and works hard but she's putting herself last all the time and I don't think she's looking after herself, she has low self esteem to say the least.
What would you do?

Have you tried talking to her? Not in a you poor thing way but in a fancy a cuppa I'm making one here's s biscuit kinda way. Be there if she wants to reach out she will.

Btw you sound lovely

Thank you. I saw her at church this morning and had a chat with her, she was sitting in a pew on her own and nearly in tears after the service had finished. It's really sad, she's got no self esteem and doesn't do anything for herself because of it, beside which she can't afford it, I know from her job that she is on a very low income.
I've said that I might be able to pop over for coffee every now and then. I'm not sure what else to do, there aren't really any solutions unfortunately.

That's all you can do. And it will help

Could you be "having a clear-out"?

And turn up with loads of clothes/toys/books etc?

I know it doesn't address her needs, but it might take the pressure off a bit?

Take up baking? But offer her a big portion "because I'll just eat it all if it's in the house".

You sound such a lovely thoughtful person.

Thanks...I will have to think what I can do for her, I saw her this morning when she dropped her son off at school and she sent him over to give me box of chocolates, I went to thank her and said she shouldn't have, I mean she really shouldn't have done but she insisted that "she wanted to give them to somebody lovely" and she'd "bought them a few weeks ago and was waiting for the opportunity to give them to somebody special". I know she does give little gifts, she gave the school staff a box of chocolates after they worked hard on the school play.

That really does sound like she's reaching out to you.

You sound so lovely... if you think she's feeling low and has poor self esteem then being a good friend to her will count for so much. Are your dcs the same age, could you organise a play date at your house for some fun for her children and a chat for you guys? Some kind of bonding. Friendship is worth more than money. Say it's to as a thanks for the chocolates.

Yes, I think so as well. Or maybe she's just trying to say thanks and move on, I know she's a very private person, I don't know. Our children are different ages despite us being a similar age so a play date isn't an option. I'll wait for the xmas holidays and then pop round for a coffee.

Meant that she is reaching out not that I am lovely LOL

Meant that she is reaching out not that I am lovely LOL - rollingheather - were you chillichoc?

Last post doesn't make sense unless it's you and a name change.

I think she is really lonely and has nowhere to turn, the fact that she said this - I mean she really shouldn't have done but she insisted that "she wanted to give them to somebody lovely" and she'd "bought them a few weeks ago and was waiting for the opportunity to give them to somebody special". I know she does give little gifts, she gave the school staff a box of chocolates after they worked hard on the school play - tells me that she needs to feel part of something, always giving gifts she can't afford, gestures etc....... she sounds really nice.

Maybe you could ask her over for coffee?

chillichoc, I wish there were more kind-hearted people like you in the world.