re beloved grandad visiting - keep DS off school or not?

[fantus]

That's it really.

My dad lives in Ireland and we only get to see him 2 or 3 times a year. Despite this, he has a wonderful relationship with DS who adores his "grandad on Ireland" This year my dad is coming over in December, arriving early on the Friday morning and going home late Sunday evening. I had planned on picking him up from the airport, then dropping DS off at school on the way back. I have explained this to DS who seemed happy enough and understood grandad would be there to pick him up at the end of the day. DH, however thinks I am being cruel and that as DS sees grandad so little all year I should let him have the day off that day.

DS is 5 btw, in Y1. So, what do you think - send him into school as usual or let him have the day off. And if I do, do I request the day (and possibly get told no) or do I invent an illnes only for DS to go in on the Monday and tell everyone what he has been up to with Grandad all weekend

Why not spend some time doing boring adult stuff with your dad on Friday yourself, freeing him up for fun with just your DS on Saturday & Sunday?

We pulled our DC out of infants once, to see an uncle who they rarely see. The school was actively supportive.

no I wouldn't. "being cruel" he will have Sat/sun to spend with your dad.

I'd send him to school as usual. He'll have the whole weekend with his Grandad.

If your dad arrives early in the morning, chances are he'll be tired and need a little time to have a proper sit-down and catch up with all your news.

Tell your DH he's being silly. It is not in the lightest bit cruel for your DS to go to school on the Friday. He will probably enjoy telling his friends about his exciting trip to pick up Granddad that morning, and how much fun he's going to have playing with Granddad all weekend. Then you and Granddad go pick him up from school so everyone gets to see his lovelky Granddad, and you have the rest of the afternoon and the whole weekend to have a good time together.

If your dad has had to get up for an early flight, he'll probably enjoy a more peaceful day with you to start his visit anyway!

I would keep a 5 year old off school for this.

I'd send him to school

I'd send him to school, have a nice day with DDad (grown up, uninterrupted talk!) and then he can concentrate on DS after school and all through the weekend.

I don't think it would be cruel at all to send him to school but in this situation I would be tempted to let him stay home and have an extra day with his grandad. He's only 5 and he doesn't see him very often. Am sure if you explain to the school they'd approve the absence. Enjoy

I don't think it is cruel either way. Its not going to kill a 5yo to miss a day of school, but then it's not going to make THAT much difference either. I would probably send the DCs to school and take the opportunity to have some adult time with my dad (if like me you have a problem getting a word in with other adults when your DS is around!). Then you can jam pack the weekend with Grandad/DS friendly activities!

(DO NOT invent an illness though).

We almost ALWAYS keep ours off on the day the inlaws arrive from abroad....it's too cruel on DDs and their Granny and Grandad. My Inlaws only ome to see the DC and they get desperate.

Too cruel! Get a grip, please.

I would keep mine off school for this,absolutely.Why not? Its only one bog-standard school day,but its one very special and precious day with Grandad.

Take the time off school. No question. Enjoy

Maybe I should have mentioned I also have a 20 month old DD so there won't be much "adult" time no matter what I do

And if DS is in school on Friday it will give my dad time to spend with DD who hasn't had much chance to see him either. If DS is around he will monopolise his grandad's attention.

I'm kinda leaning towards the going to school option, mainly because DS doesn't seems quite happy to go and it hasn't even crossed his mind that staying off would be an option.

Oh and re the "too cruel" comment, it was said in a tongue in cheek way rather than a "you'll scar him for life" way but it is what got me thinking about letting him have the day off.

Then again my mother calls me "cruel" for not giving them enough chocolate

It's not cruel to send him but I would be tempted to keep him off. But then if he's happy to go...

Well, put it this way, I wouldn't point the finger if you did keep him off.

If DS doesn't seem desperately unhappy about it, then I wouldn't start setting a precedent of taking the day off school for things. If Granddad was just passing through and this was the only chance to see him before he caught another flight next morning I'd have a different view. But he has Friday evening and the whole weekend to enjoy it.

Keep him off, be honest with school. One day off won't kill him. x