Arghhh - put my big fat stonking foot in it

[Jix]

Got a group email today. It's from a mum at school accepting a party invite on behalf of her son. Quickly scan the list and it's for a select group of the "cool" boys at school. Smug feeling my son has been invited (he's NOT cool and would have been thrilled to be included) and fire off a thank you, yes he'd love to come too email.
I DID think it was a bit strange I hadn't noticed the orginial invite email, but assumed it must have come though on the laptop, and that my husband had seen it but hadn't mentioned it.
But I have now searched ALL folders (including deleted/junk/etc) on both computers and there is NO original invite.
The mum must have added our name by mistake to her reply email.
My son has NOT been invited.
But I have sent off a yes please email.
Do I ring up original party mum and explain? It would be excruciating and then she'd probably feel that she had to pretend anyway?
Or do I just pretend today never happened? Does that ever work?
Mumsnetters please help!

Ignore and see If she backtracks.

I dont see how you've put your foot in it. You have an invite, you've accepted and your son is going to the party. End of.

Ignore and go.

But (sadly) my son Didn't get an invite... we were just copied in on one of the other mother's replies!!

It is the foot of the mum who copied you in that is in it. I would email the party mum, explain, say you got hold of the wrong end of the stick and retract your acceptance. Unless you have already mentioned it to DS, in which case wait and see if she has the brass neck to uninvite him.

Oh, another mother... I thought I was the mother of the kid having the party. Erm...have you told your dc about the party? Does he want to go?

gulp.. yes I have told him.. i am an idiot.
head in hands
anyway need to go and pick up my girl from brownies. thanks for all the advice so far xxx

oh sorry and yes he is Very Pleased ..

Just leave it as is and go. I doubt she'll back track. Not your fault or your ds's.

Oh dear! Is Party Mum a nice person? Could you level with her, tell her you only realised what had happened after you'd told DS, but he's now really looking forward to it and would she mind awfully...

well, I think you have to wait and see and assume that your son is going unless you hear otherwise.
would the other boys be horrid to him if he went?

Why did the other mum cc you in? I would brazen it out and not say anything, it's their dilemma to sort out and your boy might get to go to the party afterall !

Good point ghahstly

I'd arrange a trip for the cinema for that day and say that I can't change the tickets/back out. I'd be very uncomfortable taking my child to a party they had not been invited to.

oh god, how awful....

this reminds me:

I had a text the other day from a cool mum at school asking me if i was free for a coffee. Our children were once friendly at school....but have drifted apart from each other nowadays. I was really flattered and pleased - tsent an effusive text back, accepting.
She then texted back saying : ''oh great, do you want to do Fri? Or is Sat better. Tell you what, make it Sat, bring James too, he and Harry can hang out while we natter...''

Ah. My son is not James.....

I texted back awkwardly..''um. This is Sam's mum. Not James's mum. Do you still want to meet for coffee?''

I got 'lol, ooops sorry.''

No further invite forthcoming . bitch

That's horrible arfur

The replying mum must have actively put your name in which is really weird. is she stirring or something?

Wait and see what she replies - I don't think you put your foot in it at all.

yeah well, i cried for a week. S'fine. Didn't like her anyway.

If I were you I would definitely say something to the host's mum otherwise there will be even more hideous embarrassment all around. You will feel bad taking your ds to the party. The mum will feel embarrassed when she sees you as she might not realise how you came to get the wrong end of the stick. Your ds might feel embarrassed if the party boy talks about it in school. Much better just to be up front about it. E.g "I feel really embarrassed mentioning this, but I've just realised that XXX was probably not invited to your ds's party. I'm afraid I got crossed wires because...... If you would prefer him to not come, I completely understand."

oh guys.. this is why I love mumsnet.. thank you everyone. Arfur I'm SO cross on your behalf. The other woman sounds like a total bitch and you are totally better of without her. I will join you in a hair flick.
Neolara.. thank you thank you for your time in drafting me a reply.
and diggingintheribs.. I don't think the other mum did it on purpose.. there are lots of group emails that go round and easy to hit the wrong button..
oh my.
I think I'm going to level with the other mum and get her to check if I'm on the original email list and take it from there.
Why are kids parties such an emotional minefield?!