Worst ever Christmas joke!

[tuppenceworth]

Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" to which the Comrade Rudolph quietly replied,

(this is the worst bit!)

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Sorry!

pmsl

That was awful. Gonna tell everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(groan)!!

you should be ashamed of yourself for inflicting that on mn!

Now see what you've made me do........

The Annual International Chess Championship was being held at the beautiful St Paul Hotel.

The first night there was a reception in the lobby with platters of hors devours and champagne flowing freely.

Soon the guests started get tipsy and loud. Chekov stated "Well when I won the Moscow Invitational I defeated my opponent in 26 moves."

Not to be outdone, Chermarski stated loudly, "When I won the San Franciso Invitational, I won in 18 moves."

Finally Fischer loudly said, " That's childs play, when I won the New York championship, I won in exactly in 7 moves, that is why I am the grand champion."

All of a sudden the manager barges in and says, "I'll have to ask all of you gentlemen to leave immediately."

Stunned they asked him why. He replied, "We do not allow chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

how to cook a turkey

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

PMSL - the corny ones are always the best.

Will use that one on Sunday at the dinnertable!

Whats the difference between snowmen and snowomen?

Snowballs!

Sorry

It wasn't that bad was it???

Was it?