Is it really bad form to turn up at the purvey but miss the church service?

[AgentProvocateur]

Just found out that an old friend's mum has died and the funeral is on Friday. I need to take my mum to a hosp appointment, so I probably won't make it to the funeral service. Is it really really bad form to go along to the purvey to see the family? Is it worse or better than not going at all?

the purvey???? Do you mean the "after funeral do" If so then I'd go to the "purvey"

Yeah, the sausage rolls and sherry afterwards.

I have never heard that phrase! I'd go to the purvey but I'd drop a text to my bereaved friend beforehand to check that was OK, out of courtesy. I'm sure it will be.

I think it's a Scottish word, but I had a mental blank and couldn't remember what else to call it. (What else do you call it?)

Good idea to check first. I might even be able to slip into the church halfway through. Thanks both of you.

aye just go the purvey offer condolences. purvey are good opportunity to talk,get some food to calm nerves.

purvey is a good lanarkshire/weegie phrase

purvey aka a spread.food usually funeral but can be christenings,wedding a spread at a do

Do after a funeral is a wake

I would contact your friend and just explain - I'm sure she'll appreciateyou coming along to support her

the food after funeral is a purvey.wake is the gathering,may or may not have a purvey.wake and purvey are completely different

In my mind, a wake is a sad occasion, whereas a purvey's usually a sociable affair.

I must admit I thought of wake as sad - in fact the quiet mourning of the deceased before the funeral - but it's slipped into more general useage as the social gathering afterwards. I hadn't come across purvey except in the sense of a verb meaning to be a provider of goods

definition. Just in case you ever want to use it, fortyplus, it's pronounced "purvi" when it's used as a noun.