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Original poster

AIBU to be getting a bit hacked off with my 'facebook friends' all boasting at 'how great life is' &....

58 replies

mytime777 · 20/09/2011 16:06

.... also perhaps feeling a wee bit jealous of their constant pics of their babies, scan photos, etc, updates constantly that they are having days off to spend with their little ones going to the park etc etc.

I am at a stage in life where i just want to start a family and settle down but due to work/job/health issues i cant right now and cant help but get a bit hacked off with every one going on and on!:(

I know it will sound really horrible as I should be happy for people but sometimes you go on facebook to escape your worries/stress/life etc only to almost feel like you having your nose rubbed in it...
I wouldnt mind but for one it seems that everyone is pregnant on there or just had a baby, the ones that are pregnant are always moaning at how 's*!t it is and how bad they feel etc etc . I think it is one of the most important jobs in the world therefore its never going to be ( pardon the pun) a walk in the park'.

Any one else feel the same or am I having a seriously grumpy and down day?!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/09/2011 16:53

YABU to say "sometimes you go on facebook to escape your worries/stress/life etc" It was designed as a place to snipe and brag. If you want to escape stress, book a session at a health-spa :)

lesley33 · 20/09/2011 16:54

Your feelings are understandable, but as others have said, the fb updates really don't present a true picture of people's lives.

If I was to post a realistic fb update when I had young children it would be more:

"After 55 minutes, one temper tantrum and 1 attempt to stuff some toilet paper up his nose (my DC, not me!) I finally got coats on my two DC and headed for the park.

The park is 5 minutes walk away. It took us 20 minutes. We were doing fine until we spotted a doggie! DC1 immediately tried to run away from me across the road to see the doggie. DC2 immediately screamed as he is terrified of dogs etc etc"

Or alternatively:

"Although my 2 DC's were quite happy playing in the house I was just desperate to get out. So in spite of it raining I bundled my DCs up and headed to the park. They ran around the empty playground as I stood in the rain (bench was soaking wet). Desperate for an adult to talk to!

Oh wait the rain has stopped and the sun has come out for a bit. I'll take a photo of my DC's and put it on fb!"

I'm not trying to say that having kids isn't great and that it is good to spend time with them. But honestly fb updates don't tell you the whole truth.

MillyR · 20/09/2011 16:55

If you don't want to know the ins and outs of other people's ordinary lives, then don't be friends with them on facebook.

Of course people are going to post about taking their kids to the park, going on holiday etc.

Perhaps it is a celebrity culture thing, where people have developed some kind of expectation that their friends' facebook posts are all going to read, 'important UN meeting today followed by cocktails with Steven Spielberg.'

MistyMountainHop · 20/09/2011 16:56

It was designed as a place to snipe and brag

what cogito said

Meglet · 20/09/2011 16:58

I moan on fb a bit.

Although yesterdays update was about ds refusing school, not the camera I had up my bottom later that morning.

I've actually logged out for a few days as I'm in a self-pitying grumpy about my broken bowels and really can't let the world know about that.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/09/2011 17:01

FB is the online equivalent of those boring Christmas cards 'letters' you used to get from friends you don't like enough to actually visit but can't quite bring yourself to drop from your Christmas card list. The ones where they cheerily go on about DC's many talents and achievements, how DH was so lucky to get a marvellous new job and the fabulous holiday they had, until you're quite ready to hurl your mince-pies.

FB now means that kind of boring, self-obsessed person can produce a letter like that on a daily basis... and therefore FB is the work of Beelzebub.

usualsuspect · 20/09/2011 17:02

Don't go on fb then

no point using something that pisses you off ,its not compulsory

Caffeinefiend · 20/09/2011 17:03

I have a relative (by marriage) on FB who often posts those 'My life is great, and I'm the perfect mum,My children are angels, Oh envy me!' statuses...

When I know for a fact via family member that she often has a cry and yells at kids cause they misbehave and she is struggling..

So it is sometimes just the image they want the world to have...NOT reality.

Meglet · 20/09/2011 17:04

....Actually maybe I should have asked the consultant to upload a picture from the bottom camera to FB Grin.

It's funny, I did tell fb when my dad died but never mentioned me and xp splitting up.

needanewname · 20/09/2011 17:07

Sorry op you are being totally unreasonable.

I know you're probably just having a rant on here but if this is a real problem for you stop going on fb.

I'm sorry that for whatever reason you are unable to start a family right now, but you can't expect everyone else to stop sharing their news it tip toe around you.

AuntiePickleBottom · 20/09/2011 17:09

i had a friend on facebook ( name changed)

ellie is up > giving ellie a bath > just got ellie dressed > ellie is having her breakfast > taking ellie to the park ect ect ect

by the end of the day i knew more about her childs day than i did of my own DC

caramelwaffle · 20/09/2011 17:29

cogito The round robins

(nodding along with you)

NinkyNonker · 20/09/2011 17:35

So what statuses are acceptable if people can't moan nor can they be happy?

MillyR · 20/09/2011 17:41

I would suspect most people read facebook statuses in the following way:

FB status: My lovely daughter Kate has passed grade 2 violin today.

Reader 1 is Kate's Great Aunt. She is really pleased to hear about Kate, and if it wasn't for FB, she probably wouldn't know, because Kate's mum doesn't have time to phone every single member of her family with constant updates on Kate.

Reader 2 is Kate's mum's work colleague. She knows that news about Kate is not aimed at her and skim reads it. She'll probably read in detail when Kate's mum posts about a new work development, which the Great Aunt will skim read.

Reader 3 thinks that the world revolves around her and is enraged that Kate's mum has dared to write something on FB that isn't all about the life/interest/current state of mind of reader 3.

HoHoLaughingMonster · 20/09/2011 17:58

YABU. It's what the hide button was invented for.

GaryandTony · 20/09/2011 18:25

YABU OP (I've namechanged to disclose the following)

In the past year I have

  • Suffered a berevement
  • Had awful depression
  • Lost my job
  • Been in hospital
  • Been declared bankrupt

When I found out I was pregnant (then spent many weeks bleeding and being told I'd probably miscarried) I thought twice about posting my scan pictures. But then I thought, no, this is the best fucking thing that's happened in my miserable fucking life this year. I'll post them and be bloody pleased.

Do you think anyone considers me when they post about their jobs (and usually how much they hate them). I'd love to work, but my one episode of longterm sickness combined with a reference saying I couldn't cope with the job is strangely putting future employers off.

Do you think anyone considers me when they talk about what lovely holidays they are having and what car they are going to buy next, whilst I've just had to commit financial suicide?

But I don't mind (too much) that they do, they are entitled to talk about the good things in life. You never know what crap they are suffering in private.

TeacupTempest · 20/09/2011 18:26

YABU

That's what facebook is for! People share their lives, good times and bad times with the people they are friends with. If you don't like it, don't want to know about them then defriend.....

What do you expect people to do with facebook?

cerealqueen · 20/09/2011 18:54

There is a difference between boasting and sharing information. I have a friend who just boasts, as she'll write things like, 'feeling very smug and pleased with myself' about something she has bought or tell people when is staying at some fancy hotel/ eating at some expensive restaurant for work. She'll get lots of 'ooh am jealous comments' which is her aim and she seems to need that affirmation so I just let her get on with it. She never seems to comment nicely about anybody elses' updates either!

But then, I see lots of pics of other friend's kids/holidays/ or funny updates that make me smile and I'll always like them or comment and vice versa, they will comment and like my stuff. They are just sharing bits of their life which is what friends do.

You can always hide the posts from people if you don't want to read their particular updates.

Al0uiseG · 20/09/2011 20:42

It's ok, in a few years time they'll all be getting divorced and you'll be getting the bitter celebration updates.

Tewkespeggy · 20/09/2011 21:19

just remeber that fb entries are made while wearing last nights make-up and still wearing your pj's.....still feel glamerous?

wannaBe · 20/09/2011 21:38

I had a "friend" on my fb who updated constantly about her pregnancy. oh the bump likes cups of tea/oh sitting here while the bump kicks his mummykins in the ribs, love it so much xxx/oh daddy got to feel bump moving today," and on and on and on it went . So much so that in fact a lot of her fb friends hid her status updates because they got so sick of seeing them. Anyway when the baby was born he was very ill and was rushed into scbu and very nearly died. As was her way she updated everyone about his birth and subsequent progress on fb. Except that, because so many had her statuses hidden, they didn't know. I remember saying to someone in the playground that "oh it's so horrible about x's baby isn't it?" and she said "Oh god knows - I hid her statuses months ago I got sick of hearing about her bloody baby." and she was then Shock when I told her.

So I think people underestimate the impact sometimes.

Just to add, I deactivated my fb account about three weeks ago and it is very cathartic. (sp?)

frazzle26 · 20/09/2011 21:41

The ironic thing is that the people who actually have the most exciting lives are too busy to write about it on FB. It's the ones posting really boring/mundane/self important rubbish that go on there all the time.

iliketeawithachocolatehobnob · 20/09/2011 21:50

Yabu - just hide the status updates if you don't want to read them. And remember people edit their actual life on facebook, to make it sound better / convince themselves it's better.

E.g which would you rather:

  1. Spent the day with dd at the park, sun was shining

OR what I was actually thinking

  1. Day at home with dd, would prefer to be at work as find my days at home increase my sense of complete loneliness and would go back to work fulltime if I wasn't scared lots of people would judge me and think I was a god awful mother.
WaftedHereFromParadise · 20/09/2011 22:03

Gawd if I lived to be 200 I don't think I'd want to go on FB let alone use it to escape anything.

Who cares about a load of people you hardly know/will never know burbling away about themselves?Confused

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 20/09/2011 22:22

YABU as the happy updates are much better than the god-awful poor me ones. Eg I know someone who is constantly, constantly going on about her DD's (really very minor) food intolerance, always has to 'check in' at the hospital if she has an appointment with the dietician, always moaning about what a bad night's sleep she's had with the baby etc etc.

Or the worst type, the really vague 'X can't believe the nerve of some people' or 'X has had a really bad day' which you know they are only putting so that everyone will ask what's wrong.

I only like/comment on genuinely nice posts, or more often funny self-depracating ones.

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