Wedding invites...

[kd73]

Planning a small and intimate wedding on a very tight budget, we have found venue and not planning a wedding breakfast just a buffet to reduce costs.

Both DP and I have small families which will be invited to the civil ceremony but want to invite friends to the evening reception, except we can't afford to invite everyone we would like and their partners also would make the party alot bigger than we wanted. Do we forfeit some friends or include all friends but not invite their partners, most friends will know know several other guests very well so in a sense it will be another girlie night out just at my wedding.

Would you be most offended if you were a) not invited or b) invited but not with DP/DH

I would be happy to be invited alone.

But bearing in mind another recent thread, I think this will not be the typical view. There is however no hard and fast rule - you need to look to the habits and expectations of your own social circle and whether your proposed invitees are likely to be happy to be invited (as I would be) or grumble in the grabby hope of getting you to invite people you didn't ask spontaneously.

Thank you for responding, could you direct me to the other thread so I have a gander !

Honestly, I would be more offended by a). It's never nice not to make the list (though I would try to understand)

But b) would only work if there were "groups" of people invited. Ie All work colleauges/sporting team mates/old school friends, people who you and DP konw directly but don't know their partners and the "single" people have a group to belong to.

This thread.

Thanks Anton, thats kind of what I was thinking inviting just old workfriends who I socialise with as a group and new parent friends who I socialise with as a group. Anybody who I don;t socialise with as part of a group will be invited with a guest.

I would think it was a bit odd that my Dh was not invited.

What is your budget for food in the eve, will you have a pay bar? What is the capacity of the venue? Can you look for a cheaper venue? My church hall rents for £20/hour! It is big and clean with a kitchen and lots of trestle tables, just would need some imagination to make it look nice inside.

You could do a cold buffet and buy it/make it yourself with family help? Think loads of big bowls of salad, cold meats, french sticks, crudities and dips, olives, crisps?

Have some play lists on a lap top set up- rent a PA, about £50, or if you know a school, you might be able to borrow one.

Thanks gapants for your honesty. We have looked at numerous options and have shelved our wedding plans several times as we couldn't find what we wanted. We have finally found the venue and it is beautiful and not expensive (in wedding terms) we just need to be realistic about figures otherwise it will not be the quiet intimate wedding we want.

hey Kd- just an observation from your last post, sounds like the venue/setting is most important to you, and not trying to knock that, but....if you just want a small wedding with few guests you are going to have to accept that you will have a few noses out of joint. How many can it accommodate?

It is inevitable that some people wont make the list thought, that is weddings!