Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you ask friend to pay half parking fine???

18 replies

drivinmecrazy · 18/05/2011 10:10

My friend has a 16 yo DD who is currently staying with us mon-fri til she finishes her GCSEs. Friend has recently moved towns (got housiong association swap so had to move when she got the opportunity), she is a single mum.
DH & I have no probs DD staying with us as she is great with our girls and (suprisingly for a 16 year old girl) is a joy to have in the house.
The situation at the moment is that while my friend begins her new life and job we are not taking any money for her DD, which is fine with us.
She lives about 50 miles away and I have gladly picked up her DD and dropped her home when she hasn't been able to get the train (never any offer of money for diesel which is a bit Hmm, but yesterday DH & I got a parking fine for £50 from when we helped my friend move (hired a van for her, DH did all the heavy stuff, saw her settled in, re-connecting washing machine etc)
I feel she should pay a share of the ticket (out of principle rather than fianancial), but know she is just starting up her new life and is finding it quite tough.
Would you ask for £25, if so how to word it without offending ( I hate confrontation and would rather pay it all but do feel we already do quite alot for her DD).

OP posts:
Original poster
drivinmecrazy · 18/05/2011 10:11

Actually, reading this back am now wondering if we are being a bit dim not asking for even a small contribution to her DDs keep, particularly as she is a veggie and we do buy in a lot of food just for her (although DD2(5) usually chooses the veggie option now)_

OP posts:
FlingonTheValiant · 18/05/2011 10:12

Did she tell you where to park? If she insisted you park close to the house then yes, but if not I'm afraid I would say the responsibility is on you not to put your car on lines. Which she might argue anyway.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2011 10:13

nope, you chose to park there

UrsulaBuffay · 18/05/2011 10:13

You sound like a great friend, but yes she is getting a free ride in many ways from you being so kind.

cluelessnchaos · 18/05/2011 10:15

I wouldn't ask for anything towards the ticket but would be asking that the dd do some jobs for her keep, babysitting, ironing, cooking

AMumInScotland · 18/05/2011 10:16

No - you chose to park illegally, so took the risk of getting a fine for it. Unless your friend insisted on you parking somewhere even when you pointed out it was illegal, then it's not her look-out where you decided to park.

Original poster
drivinmecrazy · 18/05/2011 10:25

Sounds a good idea for her to do some chores for her keep, but DH has now offered her money if she does some ironing and hoovering.
Friend didn't tell us to park where we did, but was the only place we could park without hauling all her furniture across a road and up a hill.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2011 11:03

still not her fault..unless you said "if we park here we will get a ticket, will you pay half" at the time

Blu · 18/05/2011 11:08

If i was your friend I would insist on paying it!
And I would not be allowing you to do all those 100 mile round trips, either - especially with petrol prices being what they are.
She may well be embarrassed, but if not it might be best to cut down your help, because if you start to feel resentful it will affect your friendship for ever more. Give what you wish to do with no reservation, the mnute you feel reservation, either ask for the cntribution upfront, or don't do it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2011 11:10

IMO you should either help her/feed her DD or ask her for money..it's wrong to do it but then moan about it..good though you are being to her and her DD

Dropdeadfred · 18/05/2011 11:10

i take it your friend still gets Child Benefit for her daughter??

compo · 18/05/2011 11:12

You should have sorted it all out tbh before you took her dd in

Original poster
drivinmecrazy · 18/05/2011 11:15

Thank you Blu, wise words.
Can't remember seeing any signs, will ask friend today if she can look. Am annoyed cos person moving out as she moved in was in the space minutes before we parked (one lot out one lot in), but know from elsewhere they did not get a fine.
Am actually more annoyed this was six weeks ago so letter yeaterday was totally out of the blue, bastard Newham Council Angry apparently had a camera but we didn't see it.
Will teach me never to do a favour for a friend, worse still DH laughed and he was driving. We can afford the fine (just), but my 40th in 10 days so will no doubt come from what was going to be spent on my birthday

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 18/05/2011 11:16

if you friend is receivig benefits for her dd she should be paying you to feed her at the very least

Original poster
drivinmecrazy · 18/05/2011 11:19

Yes she still claims benefits for her daughter, but she is trying so hard to get one step ahead and we feel so fortunate in many ways.
ABSOLUTELY do not begrudge the help, just the parking ticket feels a bit more than we agreed to

OP posts:
PorkChopSter · 18/05/2011 11:21

You should pay the fine as you chose to park there.

However, you should be at the very least getting CB for the daughter. And petrol money for weekends.

Dropdeadfred · 18/05/2011 11:21

i think she should either buy the food for her dd herself or give you at least £10 towards her keep - not bills just food

ClipArt · 18/05/2011 19:27

Agree with others - you should pay the fine, but you should be getting some kind of renumeration towards the daughter's keep.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page