Feeling lonely...

[sunshineleah]

Hmm, bit of a brain dump, but an outside perspective will probably be helpful!

Just over a year ago I moved about an hour away from my family to live with DP (who also moved about an hour away from his - we met in the middle!) and initially, another couple. We are both working, (well, I am studying on-the-job, but not earning. Grr.) but neither of us have met people from wirk who we 'gel' with.

A few months ago, the couple we were living with broke up and both moved back to my home town, so it is now jusy DP and I living here. We have a couple of aquaintences(sp?!) whom we see socially very occasionally, and whilst they are lovely, they are very much aquaintences who we don't know very well.

I have always felt a little homesick, as I come from a large, close family and went to uni in my home town so have never spent any real time away from them.

However, since our housemates have gone, I feel even more homesick / lonely. I am very aware that I have no good friends here - people I can go visit just for tea and a chat, or invite to mine for the same, with no pressure etc, people I can bully persuade to go to eg zumba with me, silly things like that!

Don't get me wrong - I have close friends whom I would be able to do this with, I just don't live in the same city as any of them!

I am trying to widen my social circle - I have joined a cough cough WI group locally (in my defense! It is a 'new generation' WI with an average age of 25-35!! And they do cool stuff! Honest! ) I have also started to look into volunteering, and DP and I are considering going along to some local 'social' events.

But, I just don't know what to do about feeling so bereft of 'girlfriends' IYSWIM?

Maybe I am being impatient; I have only started trying to rectify this in the past couple of months... Friendships take time to form right?

Wow, this is a lot longer than I expected it to be! I am obviously in need of letting it all out! (have talked to DP about it also, he is lovely about me feeling like carp! I am lucky to have him)
If you have made it this far, well done, thank you, and WWYD if you were me? xx

I'd give it more time as you say, friendships take time to form. Realistically would it be easy to go back to where you came from? If not then you need to give it time and perhaps accept that you may not get as close to anyone as you are with those you've left behind.

I also think it takes time. I moved 6 hours drive away from nearest friends and family for DH's work when DD was 5months old. I felt very isolated for the first few months and although it was easy enough to meet people through baby groups, etc I was very conscious that I had no-one close by who I could look to for support.

Three and a half years on I feel like I am part of the community. I am on a couple of committees and and play an active role in fundraising, community planting, etc.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself or others and I'm sure some of your acquaintances will develop into friends over time.