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About awful bridesmaid dress?

17 replies

reddaisy · 06/05/2011 16:14

Background: My Dsis is getting married in 5 weeks when I will be 6 months pregnant.

When I announced the pregnancy I offered to step down as a bridesmaid if that is what she wanted (she hadn't ordered the dresses yet), she said no.

Since then she has ordered a dress online in a colour I hate and a style that will make me look like a whale and she didn't consult me on the size and it doesn't fit because my boobs have gone up three cup sizes. She ordered another one (they can't be returned btw) and it is HUGE and shows one of my breasts it is so big.

I think she is expecting me to pay to get it altered but it would be a massive job, she dropped the dress off and didn't have time to stick around to see what it looked like.

I don't want to upset her, nor do I want the expense of altering a dress I wasn't consulted about and I hate. But WWYD?

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Hullygully · 06/05/2011 16:15

Show the breast and shame the devil

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reddaisy · 06/05/2011 17:44

Ha, I wish I was that brazen!!!

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Jix · 07/05/2011 11:08

i think you'll just have to wear it and smile bravely. wait until the day (as you breasts will probably get bigger yet!) and then just use small safety pins to adjust.
accept you are not going to be pippa middleton

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reallytired · 07/05/2011 11:18

It's your sisters special day and you need to realise that. The world does not revole round you and maybe you need to grow up a bit. It is quite reasonable for the bride to choose the style and the colour of the dress.

I am sure that the unused dress can be sold on ebay.

I agree with jix

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Knackeredmother · 07/05/2011 11:23

This happened to me. I paid £100 to have the dress altered ( more than the dress cost ) and seethed inwardly! Dress was bloody awful too.

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reddaisy · 07/05/2011 22:06

I totally realise it is her choice on style and colour etc, what I object to is the size issue and believe me, even Pippa Middleton couldn't make this dress work!!

Most brides that I know have worked with their bridesmaids to find dresses that make everyone happy though.

The size isn't a slight issue either that can be fixed with safety pins, it is (I estimate) around four sizes too big for me and it has a train it is that long for me (which it isn't supposed to have!)

I hope you are still getting plenty of wear out of yours KnackeredMother. I am not paying to alter it, I just don't have any spare cash at the moment unfortunately.

Anyway, I have told her it is too big and she sounded rather put out by it and I invited her over to have a look to see what I mean so she can figure out what she wants to do and she said she will be over sometime in the next couple of weeks. The wedding is in 5!!

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Knackeredmother · 08/05/2011 09:21

Good luck! I never wore my dress again!

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reddaisy · 08/05/2011 20:10

I bet you didn't! They have those charity balls for brides to wear their dresses again, we should organise ones for people to wear their hideous bridesmaid dresses again and the worst gets a cash prize or something!

I bought a maxi dress today that I can wear for the wedding just in case she decides she can't be bothered to alter the dress so that I have got something to wear.

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Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 20:15

I was just going to suggest choosing something yourself.

Are you the only bridesmaid? If so and if you know the flower colours etc I think it would be the best solution.

It would be even better if you could persuade your dsis to come with you.

Even the nicest of people go a bit "off" about their weddings I have found so don't let it ruin things between you.

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reddaisy · 08/05/2011 21:06

Thanks Carrots. I am not the only bridesmaid, there are three of us and the dress only seems to fit one of us but my cousin is 300 miles away and getting hers altered by someone she knows for free so she is sorted.

The dress I have bought would not be dressy enough for a bridesmaid dress but I could wear it as a guest if she didn't want to change the existing dress.

I am trying not to let is ruin things but it is hard as this is the tip of the iceberg of her strange behaviour since she started planning the wedding. I will just be glad when it is all over which makes me sad as I should be enjoying all the planning etc with her.

I am engaged and yet to set a date, maybe I should get her to wear the same dress to save on money and see what she thinks?!!

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Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 21:37

My best friend recently apologised for her bizarre and appalling behaviour in the build up to her wedding. I love her dearly but her behaviour was dreadful. I have just accepted it was a strange situation and it is unlikely to be repeated.

I am sure your dsis will look back and at what she is doing.

Can you ask again if you can just step down and then you could enjoy helping her plan things without the horror stress of being one of the victims loved ones being tortured honoured by her requests

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reddaisy · 08/05/2011 22:23

TBH at my age I would rather not be a bridesmaid for anyone at all as it isn't really my thing but I think if I asked to step down again after she has bought two dresses albeit two terribly sized ones then she would be pissed off with me.

Hopefully I can nudge her in that direction though!!

I am impressed at your best friend apologising, I just don't get all the OTT fuss about weddings. My Dsis left in a huff the night I announced I was pregnant because she later said it was "her" year as she wanted to get married in 2011. Something I didn't even know when we abandoned the contraception!! And the night I said I was pregnant was before she had said she was definitely setting a date this year.

I hope I get my lovely, caring, funny sister back soon!

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Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 23:11

My friend is a great person but was under a ridiculous amount of pressure from all sorts of directions so it is easily forgiveable.

If it helps at all my dbrother told me off for having a boy when his wife was pg with a girl as I would be providing the family with the only grandson. What control I was supposed to have over that I am not sure

People do the strangest things and families are far worse at it.

If the wedding is in 5 weeks I predict your dsis will be back in working order by the time your bump makes an appearance.

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reddaisy · 08/05/2011 23:18

Why did you have a boy when it was clear your brother wanted one?! How selfish can you get

Roll on the last dance of the evening!!

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Carrotsandcelery · 08/05/2011 23:23

I know, I am such a selfish wee sister, greedy and attention seeking

reddaisy there is the outside chance that you might enjoy yourself - don't right it off altogether!

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reddaisy · 08/05/2011 23:29

True! I will have to pull myself together! I think if I wasn't pregnant I would cope a bit better with it all but I already don't feel my best at the moment so that doesn't help.

I'm glad you aren't my sister, that's all I can say who knows what you will do next?!

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Carrotsandcelery · 09/05/2011 18:27

My poor dbrother!

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