should I leave this fundraising committee because of the glory-whore chair and her arse-kissy side-kick treasurer

[MadreInglese]

I'm secretary on a small fundraising committee for a local charity, we're only about a year old as a group of fundraisers and all eager to think of new ideas for events

There seems to be a problem, however, with the chairwoman. She has become very pally with the treasurer who seems to hang on her every word and as a pair they are frequently arranging/confirming/cancelling things without consulting the other members and poo-pooing any ideas that are not their own (two ladies in particular have some fab easy-money ideas that the chair waffs away like a buzzing fly)

The two of them seem keen to delegate the hard work to everyone else while taking all the glory for themselves. As an 'officer' I'm supposed to be included in decisions but I am not being. Communication is crap and the chair esp is getting a reputation for being rude and lately she keeps emailing me "thanks for agreeing to do XYZ" and cc'ing the whole group when XYZ has never been discussed with me . She quite often will email me four or five times in one day chasing for an answer to something (often cc'ing everyone else too) when I've told her repeatedly that I don't always get chance to check my personal emails every day and she should ring or text me if something is urgent.

I'm a bit sick of being ignored and feeling put-down and used, as are some of the other ladies. I know of three women who have come along with intent to join us over the last few months but have been put off by the rudeness. I'm considering finding another group that I perhaps could fundraise for instead - except this local charity is quite close to my heart.

DC2 is due in a few weeks so my other choice is to step down for a few months with a new baby as an excuse and maybe see how I feel about getting involved again at a later date (perhaps around the next AGM when the 'officers' are voted in/out )

WWYD?

You don't say what the cause is but unless it's a really good one, something really important to you, just leave. You don't need the hassle. Your willingness to get involved and patience would be useful to many organisations so why not wait until after the baby arrives and then find one.

that's why I'm torn DrS, it is a cause I believe very strongly in that gets only a measly amount of government funding, and no "head office" financial support

but on the other hand fundraising should be enjoyable......

definitely leave. you are being treated really badly. find another way of supporting this cause and get these two poisonous queen bees out of your life!

Set yourself a deadline, and if things haven't improved when it comes round, then start looking for a different cause to give your time too. And you can also stay in touch with this organisation, and go back if the personnel changes.

In the meantime, see what can be done to change things.

I'd certainly start by responding to e-mail (using "reply all"): in the first case, I would say something along the lines of: "This email was not meant for me as we have never discussed XYZ. Perhaps it was meant for one of the other addressees to which you sent it? (Then you could add either - it is impossible for me to XYZ because (....) or I might be able to consider XYZ, but of course cannot do so until I know what it entails).

Chasers to e-mails should be met every single time with "Could I remind you that owing to work commitments I cannot respond to emails during normal office hours" - and use "reply all" for that too. Respond to the substance of the issue in a separate email.

Continue to talk to all those on the committee with whom you have more normal relations. If the level of discontent is rising, then perhaps together you will find a way to bring the issues explicitly to the surface, where they can be dealt with openly and by consent of all.

BTW: has she always been like this? If not, can you find out any reasons for the change?

good advice, thanks

(she has always been like this as long as I've known her - just over a year)