Ex MIL reporting back to Exp...

[FoundationGarmentsOnOnesHead]

I have always gotten on with my ex MIL, well, at least I thought I did.

Exp said today that the last time his parents visited they told him that the house was a tip, it stank, ds was naked and covered in chocolate and that I just did not seem bothered.

Now, they caught me on a bad day, my house isn't usually a tip and it was a few days after Easter, still Easter eggs around so yes, ds had had some chocolate, and I refuse to fight with him to put his clothes back on for the umpteenth time.

This has really really upset me as I thought we got on and that we could talk to each other about anything, which I was I broke my heart and told that I had been feeling depressed for years and that I had finally seen my GP.

I will never confide in her again but what would you do n my situation?

Ex fil has been today to pick ds and I didn't say anything, was nice and polite.

*Which was why

It is possible that your FIL and not your MIL said this. Or that MIL described things in a much less critical way to your ExP and he added in all the judgements. I have known that sort of thing happen before. But probably best if at some point, you sit down with your MIL over a cup of tea, and say, without sounding accusatory 'By the way, ExP said something which really bothered me...' go on and describe what he said. Then say something like 'I've felt very close to you, so I was upset to think that you disapprove of my parenting.' Thus giving her a chance to talk it through, otherwise you will always be suspicious of them and it will ruin your relationship.

If you were my DIL and whenever I'd visited before everything was okay - ie reasonably tidy, etc, then I would be very concerned as to whether you were okay. I would certainly speak to you directly, not with the child present, not even with the FIL present, and ask whether you were coping alright.

If my son had left a woman with a child, then I'd be desperate to check she was managing alright on her own - both for her sake and for the sake of the children.

What I wouldn't do is speak to my son about it. She owed it to you to speak to you directly.

He dropped DS off today (ex fil) and I just said in passing 'I'm sorry for the house not being up to scratch the last time you were here, I was having a bad day' and he asked what I meant so I told him and he said all he said was that you could smell the dogs, but he doesn't know what his wife had told exp.

DD and I gave the house a good tidy while ds wasn't here. It wasn't even that bad to be honest.

When I asked exp why no-one said it to my face he said It was because they dare not say anything to my face. Funny that, as ex mil has never being forwards in going backwards. He also said that I needed to learn to hear and accept criticism. I told him it wasn't criticism, it's called being two faced and slagging me off behind my back.

I think Exp has overly exaggerated what his mother has told, just to get at me as spoke to my friend who was here on that day and she has said that nothing was wrong with the house.

Perhaps you ex doesn't want you to be "friends" with MIL & FIL and is shit stirring so you fall out with them?