neighbours child so sad :(

[LauraNorder]

I take a neighbours child (let's call him Peter) to school from time to time as she works shifts, sometimes overnight and sometimes with a very early start so he comes with us - no a problem.

He came round this morning in his school uniform, only today was a mufti day for the school because of a project they are all doing. Peter was mortified when he saw my DC's in their normal clothes and wanted to go home to change only no one was in so he couldn't get back in the house. My DS, only a year younger, is much smaller so I couldn't even offer him other clothes to wear. He had to go to school in his uniform.

I suggested that maybe there would be others who would choose to wear their uniform today but when DH (he did the school run this morning) came home tonight he confirmed that every child he saw this morning was in mufti and Peter was so sad about it he refused to go to school. DH had to persuade him to get out of the car and go in.

The thing is this happens a lot, although this is the first time with us taking him in. Now I am not the most organised person in the world at all but I do try and remember the school stuff.

How can I remind her of these kind of days in the future without coming across as smug, super organised and making her feel like she's super disorganised. She's a lovely lady and she works bloody hard. I really admire her but I did feel sad for her DS today

How sad.
I completely understand.
Can you not drop a reminder into a passing comment when you know an event such as this is coming up?
How often do you see her?
Maybe you can try to remember to mention things in passing the day before they happen in future.
I'm sure she wouldn't think you patronising for that.

I see her here and there, mainly because of the hours she works. If I sent her a text the night before how could I word it? Make out I'd just found out/remembered or just "don't forget it's mufti tomorrow"?

Yes make out you just remembered, as in: "god, completely forgot it is mufti day tomorrow, just ironed school uniform, gah!!!" or something like that.

Good idea to go for the 'I sometimes forget, so just reminding people...' I get these texts from my friends OR maybe try the approach that you are double checking yourself e.g. 'Just checking, it is mufti day tomorrow isn't it?

Oh bugger, this thread has just reminded me that it's a mufti day at dd's school aaargh, Dp took her this morning, in school uniform .

Why do they have these days? It seems completely unnecessary and just encourages clothes/footwear one upmanship...

What is a mufti day?

I have forgotten dress down day at school before, but I've never been the only one. And my dc have never been that bothered, luckily.

I don't see a problem with reminding the mum at all and I can't imagine she would be offended. You could also remind the boy himself if you see him more often - you didn't mention how old he is but if he is any more than reception age I'd expect him to stand a good chance of remembering things like this.

If you were prepared to accept the additional responsibility, it sounds like your neighbour could use you as a keyholder. That way she would have the benefits of having a keyholder - plus her DS (with supervision) could get into the house for any emergency bits and pieces.

ihatecbeebies - mufti is a day when you don't wear your normal uniform, so school children go in their own clothes rather than uniform.

You could try wording the text "can you remember, is it mufti day tomorrow? I think it is but I'm not sure and DS can't remember" - then it looks like you're actually asking for her help rather than telling her, however carefully.

Although piprabbit's idea is a good one - my parents' next door neighbours have always had a spare key to my parents' house and vice versa. Makes life so much easier!

origins of the word mufti and why it is used to mean non-uniform wear.

ah, we just call it non-uniform day! If my mum went out when we were still in school she'd leave the key with our neighbor too and it worked fine with us.

I did this once when my mum was doing the drop off. She went ballistic at me. I bought an Organised Mum diary and planner and I've never done it since.