Would you spend your DC's money?

[whethergirl]

I'm skint and living on a very tight budget. DS age 6 however, is loaded and has over £200 in his money box, and more on the way. I have a large family and money is from Xmas, Birthdays, grandad slipping £20 notes in his pocket for no reason at all etc.

DS' choice (if he had any inkling as to how much money he had) would obviously be to spend it all on toys. However, he has more than enough toys (due to large family again giving presents and also plenty of hand me downs from older cousins).

So do you think it's ok to spend his money on any of the following? Do you, or would you?

1. Clothes & shoes. Referring to basics as well as a wedding suit needed for my sister's wedding.

1. Days out - although we have lots of freebie/cheap days out, there are few places I'd love to take him which I could't normally afford ie. London Zoo, Legoland. I'd pay for his ticket but would try to pay for mine.

1. Bedroom stuff - a new (cheap) bed, bedroom furniture - curtains, lampshade for example. He basically doesn't have much of a bedroom at the moment.

1. Tai Kwon Do and/or swimming lessons

Have only ever spent some of his money on clothes he needed before, but would love to know what you think!

yes to all of the above

IOf the money has come from presents given to your ds then I don't think it is unreasonable to spend it on the sort of things he might have been given on presents: so nice clothes (not undies or boring stuff though), or lessons definitely. And a day out yes, as long as he isn't having to pay for other people to go.... I guess bedroom stuff too - ~I know children who have had new bedrooms as christmas/birthday presents....

Yes, I would.

If I am honest my family went through a very tight patch recently financially and I had to empty my children's bank accounts to buy food. I felt bad about it, but would have felt worse if I had nothing to feed them, and we had absolutely no money. Things are a bit more settled financially now, so I guess I had better pay it back....

Yes, that's one way of looking at it Oakmaiden, but then I guess there might be different standards of what people would find acceptable for a present. But thinking about it, all of those things I've listed would give some happiness to DS which I guess is the main thing?

Mind you pants & socks have long had a reputation for being given as xmas presents although I'm not sure if anyone can bring themselves to do that anymore.

the only thing i might use their money for would be a day out.

other than that, it's their money and I would save it for them for whjen they're older.

obviously if you're in a position where you actually literlaly cannot afford clothes or shoes then I guess you don't have much choice.
but if you aren't then persoanlly i wouldn't

Oakmaiden, I have had to borrow money from my ds money box before for essentials (eg. rent)

And whenever I want something but can't afford it, DS always offers to pay for it out of his savings bless him.

i give pants socks tights vests to my children in their xmas socks!

I'd spend it on days out, lessons for things he finds fun and shoes if you really cannot afford these, as it's impotant that they fit. I wouldn't buy bedroom stuff but m,ainly because my children don't care.

I've done all of those things - without telling them when they were younger, and with their say-so now they're older and understand finances. I'll do it with my own 'birthday money' as well

We've also had to use it to buy bread and milk when times have been desperate.

I wouldn't buy a wedding suit for your sister's wedding though. He's a little boy, I'm sure that'sd not something he'd choose to have, don't make him pay for it.

thisisyesterday - on the subject of clothes/shoes, then yes I could manage with charity shop stuff. But I could also get some decent gear from H&M that is reasonable, in his size and not about to fall to pieces because someone else has been wearing it for a year.

With the tai kwon do/swimming lessons - these are obviously not essentials. But I can't afford them at the moment and that's what he wants to do.

I would do all of the above.

My inlaws give my three a lot of cash and would be keen that the money was used where it was most needed/appreciated. Mil used to pay for ballet lessons etc. i don't see using your ds's money to pay for tae kwon do as any different. My grandmother always used to give them money for christmas and was visibly happier when it was used for useful things - zoo, panto etc - then when it was used for (as she would see it!) yet more toys!

At the end of the day you're spending his money on him - not out drinking his money!!

I know what you mean about the wedding suit colditz - although he is actually quite excited about wearing a "man suit" and insisting on a bow tie.

I thought maybe I should just ask him if he'd like to spend his money on some of these things.

thisisyesterday - obviously the other option would be to save it for him. But I guess I just thought, what is £200 going to be worth in 15 years time, when that's a lot of money in the present day and could buy so much more and used for things he needed now or could presently enrich his life?

I'm with Oakmaiden there, had to do exactly the same thing, not a nice experience and not a position I ever wanted to be in , but I'm slowly paying the kids back at the moment.

Maryz - I can't think of anyone that would object. My mum (one of the cash givers) told me it's absoloutley fine and encourages it. My dad also wouldn't object and feel a lot of the time he gives it to DS instead of me, to help out, because I don't like accepting it directly (he once told my aunt who was trying to give me some money for something I'd given her, "She won't take it. The best way to give her money is to give it to her DS").

But great idea about relating it to him as a present from someone. That would make me feel much more at ease about it. I think it's the act of actually going into his moneybox that makes me feel a bit wrong!

I have looked for a suit on ebay but haven't found a cheap one til now and can't leave it any longer. Yes it will be a complete waste of money seeing as he'll only wear if for a day, however I will be selling it back on ebay to recover some of the money.

I have borrowed from the DC's on many an occasion, sometimes to feed them, pay school fees whatever but I do pay it back with interest.

i don';t think bedroom stuff or clothes will "enrich" his life though.

sorry, you asked for opinions and i gave mine! i wouldn't use it for those thingsl.

if you want to then it's entirely up to you isn't it.
i've got lovely quality clothes from charity shops and ebay that aren't falling apart or the wrong size.
also freecycle.

i dont see why not believe you me - you will spend more than that on him in his lifetime