DH thinks I'm too soft/generous - am I?

[kiddie]

A long story but basically, one of our neighbours have been landed with a bill that should be shared by several of us. All because they took the initiative and dealt with a problem quickly before it became a major issue and so more expensive. There was no time to consult other neighbours. Written evidence of work completed and full explanation accompanied request to everyone to pay them back their share was put through our letterboxes about a month ago. There is no question that it is the fair thing to do as in the past everyone paid up when this problem needed sorted.

I am saddened that we are the only ones to pay our share. Others have totally ignored it. Others must know it is only fair as this problem was a major issue a few years ago and everyone agreed to pay up then. Ok they should have left it and consultated everyone first you could argue but then we would have all had to pay more. They were actually doing us all a favour as the bill would have been about double if the problem was left until everyone was consulted.

I don't think it fair that they have been left to have to pay the rest of the bill while the other neighbours ignore it so I think it would be neighbourly and nice to pay a bigger share (half) and if this comes up again (it may/might not) then we should let the others deal with it (and pay a bigger bill if necessary from dilly-dallying).

DH thinks I am being too generous/soft. I think if it was us I would like someone to be considerate. We aren't wealthy but could find the money if we cut back a bit.

So what do you think/what would you do?

You are morally in the right and it's a shame that the others are ignoring the issues. If it is something that is likely to be repeated in the future, maybe you should all get together and decide a strategy about getting it done and payment.

id pay my bit only. whilst i see that you have probaby saved money in the long run, this shouldn't have been done without consultation. it just shouldn't. i live on a private road and when certain maintenance works need doing, it is an arse ache, but we have to talk with each other and get quotes and talk about it.

whilst i am sure that this neighbour had the very best of intentions, they just thought that everyone had the readies - and tbh, if one of my neighbours had done this i would be mightily pissed off as we don't know the details of each others lives and they would be terribly wrong if they thought that i could afford anything at this moment in time.

I appreciate your replies. It was a genuine emergency. Cost is £32 each because it involves a LOT of households.

£32 is less than it came to a few years ago when it wasn't noticed until it was an emergency. My neighbour stated that it was paid by credit card so they themselves didn't have to find the money straight away but within the next couple of months would be helpful. But others haven't even acknowledged the fact that this has happened and the suggestion that we need to get together to have a plan of action if this problem happens yet again.

To add insult to injury everyone has a lovely big detached house with big cars. But like I said we personally aren't rolling in it due to work circumstances and so yes others could be in the same position. But isn't it often the way (that's why some people have money and some people don't)! Just feel sorry for them ending up with a big bill.

I wouldnt pay any more than your own share, but iw ould perhaps offer to help your neighbour arrange and host a neighbourhood meeting to discuss the issue and whaat to do about problems going forward etc.
It might be helpful for them to have you on their side in terms of encouraging everyone else to think about it and pay up!

You're not too soft, you're simply an honest person. At least you can sleep well at night knowing your conscience is clear.

So many people these days just don't seem to give a toss about anyone else as long as they're OK, and don't seem to give it second though if they're screwing someone over. Very sad. Good for you!

I like tallulah's idea - if it has happened previously and may happen again then there needs to be joint agreement on it.

Neighbours not contributing may be due to their own circumstances but very unfair on neighbours that did stump up.

Thanks tallulah good idea. I will suggest it to my neighbour and also that I host at mine and so people may come along easier, if it was at my neighbour's they may think they will have to pay up to attend meeting and find out what's going on.

Why didn't I think of that option!

While not insignificant, £32 is hardly going to put anyone on the breadline - I'm shocked that your 'neighbours' are so tight. Even if they can't afford it all in one go, what about a few quid a month for 3 months or so. Or a tenner to show willing?

If it's a genuinely shared cost, you should have a mutually enforceable covenant to recoup expenses. Your neighbour should look at the title deeds and see what recourse is available.

They may well be able to put a charge against the other properties which will make it difficult for them to sell or even be able to reclaim it via the small claims court.

But for £32 I'd just swallow it myself, and make sure I never ever did the neighbourly thing again for these stingy gits!