Toddler group committee issues?

[twinklingfairy]

I was warned not to get involved with committees, a RLF got stung and swore never to repeat the mistake.
I felt I had to cos no-one else would take it on, so ended up as chairperson.
Have been chairperson for 3 years now, I think, but never been good at the whole shouting out to the group thing. The treasurer and secretary seemed much happier with it so I let them get on.
Delegation, that's the key

Well, the treasurer has taken it to the extreme. I won't go into the many ins and out and everything. But it got to a point where I was treated as if I had nothing to do with it all at all, by her and she has pretty much taken over all the roles of the committee and then become very paranoid. She imagines that the secretary and I are in cahoots against her.
She is quite an aggressive and controlling woman, with moments of lovelyness thrown in. I have done my best to rein her in from upsetting people but then get it in the neck myself.
At one point I was actually in her house with her reigning abuse down on me about an idea of mine being 'Stupid' and she did not agree, was refusing to hand over the keys. She reduced me to tears before finally relinquishing them. 2 weeks later claiming that the idea was a brilliant one and she wished it had been done sooner.

Both the secretary and I have had enough and are handing in our notice at the next AGM (next week) the treasurer has decided that a committee is not really required anyway, so she is just going to stay on and do it all. That includes opening up, setting up, teas coffees, tidying up and closing up.
Her children will no longer be going to the group, after the summer at which point she will continue regardless because, as she has said,'what else is she to do with her time?'

What would you do?
Because it has got to the point where I will no longer be going to the group, once the AGM is done, even though I had planned to keep my DS going for another year , nearly 2 and I really like the group and so does he.
I don't really want to be around this woman anymore.
I don't think it is right that she wants to keep on going when she will not have children attending.
But then, if she is willing to do so much, who I am I to deny the group that better to take my personal feeling out of it all?

I could go on, but I think, for an opening post, this is probably long enough.

I suspect she'll leave within a few months anyway. Most tinpot Hitlers soon crumble when given control. I wouldn't resign. In fact I'd ask for a re-election of members and kick her out for abusive behaviour frankly. Be strong. If you enjoy it, don't leave, make her leave.

I disagree with someone continuing to come along to a group that they have no right to be in.
Seems very odd to me.

That is what I hoped would happen after the shouting at, that she would leave after christmas because her daughter will be full time Nursery after the summer, could easily be full time Playgroup now. So to be taking up position when, at most, you would only be able to complete 6 months??

How formal is your group? Does it have a constitution and if so, what does it say about numbers of committee members? If there is one, I doubt very much that one person is allowed to run it on their own.

If there isn't one then I would walk away and let her get on with it. She'll soon realise she doesn't really want to do it and will be moving on to the next committee.

Very very Informal.
sigh, I think it has come to the point of having to walk away, it is just a shame for my DS. If it weren't for her making me feel so tense, it is just such a lovely lovely group.

Surely for her own protection - particularly with regard to financial stuff, she will need other committee members? Otherwise she could be open to implications of theft etc - not saying she is btw.

Maybe having new blood join will persuade her to move on?

Is there any possibility your Treasurer is on the fiddle ??

We had a Treasurer like that of our Resident's Assoc and initially we all thought he was so dedicated .

But actually he was trying to keep us all away from what was in the books. The old goat did the estate out of about £3000 all told.

I'm probably way off but when I read the original post my spidey senses started to tingle.

spidey senses

No I really don't think that she would do that, she is very straight up and down.
I missed this weeks group. I made other plans.
But I hear that she has realised that she cannot stand alone.
I honestly feel that I may just have an ill boy on my hands next tuesday morning.
I have reached the end and just don't want all the hassle anymore.

Unfortunately, we/I tried to run a fundraiser before christmas, but people were so . . . neh about it that it fell flat. But I guess something will have to be done to complete it.
sigh

No, it turns out that the whole fundraiser I tried to do was also a 'Stupid' idea.
I was not able to attend this week, so a friend (the secretary) brought it up, so that people would remember to bring the bits related to the fundraiser, to the AGM.
The Treasurer snorted it it's general direction and said the whole thing ought to be dropped and people should either return the money or ask that it just be seen as a donation (actually that was what I suggested, via the secretary)
So I am just sick of the whole thing!
That this woman feels fit to call my ideas, therefore me, stupid, with such venom is just beyond me.
I will not be returning, AGM or no AGM the group can go to h£ll for all I care.

but too

SOunds like she has nothing in her life, this treasurer and is trying to make herself feel important... but surelyl if there is a cheque book involved she needs a co-signatory... so can't run the whole show alone.

I am also saddened, and a bit frightened if I am honest, about having to see this woman again.
Our daughters attend the same dancing class (with the same teacher who taught me as a child) and, with her being a very abrupt no holds barred kind of a woman. I am frightened that my leaving the group will cause her to ask why and has she done anything to cause it. (she asked this of another woman when she missed a few weeks)
Well, um yeah!
You make me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Could that be something to do with the way you describe my ideas as Stupid? Therefore making me feel about an inch tall?
Nice one minute, nasty the next?

OP, I am sad for you, but I think you've probably made the right decision. I was drinking coffee earlier on with my fellow ex-committee members (I poster on your previous thread) and we all ditched the toddler group after it went downhill. Just not worth the hassle. I suspect what will happen is that your secretary will spoil the group, and everyone will vote with their feet. Find yourself some other lovely toddler group and forget about this woman. Sadly, toddler groups seem to be often run by women who used to be busy and important at work and are desperate for people to still think of them as important.

Got it in one!
Though she at least admits it herself.
yes, that has been pointed out to her.
Well, we will see what happens at the AGM on Tuesday, but I will not be there to witness it or to be uncomfortable as she demands someone to join her on the committee. She will no doubt make large of the fact that she does not need their involvement in decision making, merely their signature on a cheque.
This woman looks for a fight with her shadow, when she is in the mood.

We were very kindly allowed room at another hall for ouselves and all our toys.
When we were asked to move them to another part of the hall to allow a Santas grotto to be built.
She raged at the idea saying that where they were is not where they Normally put the Grotto! They are only doing it to be awkward to us!
Well, they can wait, silly B$tch, until we are ready to move them.

Whaaaat!?
These people are doing us a favour!
All they want is for us to move things to another room??

They are also to wait until she is ready before she will pay them for the use of the hall, and she expects written proof of how much they are 'demanding'. (the whole £3 a session)