May have frightened a potential friend off by coming on too strong but she works at son's nursery! HELP!

[pipkin35]

Help me. I am very chatty, sometimes considered over friendly.

There?s a woman who works at my son?s nursery. She?s older than me by maybe 10 years but we?re both quite ?young? acting. She?s single, no kids.

She is amazing with my child and always super nice and really quite friendly with me. There's been a few things she's said that makes me think we've got major things in common. Having had brief chats with her, I really like her and would love to get to know her a bit better. Am also very curious about her and her life (and people in general). She just gives me a good vibe and I don?t often meet women that I feel I really ?gel? with.

Now, recently, we?ve discovered that she lives down the road from me and that we both run. We have discussed doing a race together and have gone running a couple of times. Always late in the evening, so never time for coffee/chats afterwards.

I have suggested a coffee afterwards next time we go which she seems up for.

However, the last time we went out for a run, we didn?t run together ? different styles and speeds etc? - as we left, she mentioned maybe going for a run at the weekend and maybe time for a coffee afterwards. I blurted out something along the lines of ?That would be great, I?d love that because I?ve got a real thing about you!? OMG. I have no self censor. It came out all wrong. What I obviously meant was ?I really like what I?ve seen of you. Feel a massive affinity with you and would love to get to know you better and want to be your mate?.

I actually noticed her visibly recoil.

She may think I?m a lesbian who fancies her ? but I doubt it, am not really thinking that but am worried that I have really freaked her out/scared her off/come across like the mental patient I am!

I have no idea if she wants to go for a run on Saturday. Now, contrary to what this sounds like, I am not desperate for friends ? barely have the time to see the ones I have ? and normally, if this was just someone I?d never bump into again, I wouldn?t give it a second thought BUT, I see her twice a day when picking up and dropping off my son.

It was probably my over analysing paranoia, and who knows what else is going on in her life but, this morning she did seem noticeably different ? reserved? Wary? ? with me.

Do I text her about a run? If I bring up what I said, surely that?s drawing too much attention to it all and makes me look even weirder? Have I blown it?
If she doesn?t want to go running this weekend, is she blowing me out totally? Would I ask her again? It?s super hard to talk when doing the pick up/drop off since kids are screaming round all our ankles?

WWYD?!

well, if I was the other woman I would run for the hills. sorry.

I would explain.

Yes, definitely explain! Apologise and say that you're really embarrassed about what you said and you just meant you admired her running. Then at least there won't be any long-lasting misunderstanding about what you said. If she's a nice person she'll forgive you and probably laugh it off and you can get back to running.

Blimey - you are scaring me and I am only reading this. I think you need to explain your comment to her.

OP: ?That would be great, I?d love that because I?ve got a real thing about you!? OMG. I have no self censor. It came out all wrong. What I obviously meant was ?I really like what I?ve seen of you. Feel a massive affinity with you and would love to get to know you better and want to be your mate?.

WWID? Definitely explain to clear the air, but don't use your alternative explanation as above, I think that sounds just as scary.

Thanks. I'm quite surprised and a little dismayed that even this written down has 'scared' some people. Will tone it down and resist being quite so friendly and open.

I've seen her twice and she's definately cooled towards me. She texted an excuse about not going running on Saturday. If the opportunity comes up, I will attempt an explanation, but otherwise will just leave it and chalk it up to experience.

Thankfully, my other friends like my excitable exuberant puppy-like uncurbed enthusiam...

Oh, dear, Pipkin! Sorry, but that made me laugh out loud.

I do think you're going to have to explain. You could use the 'puppy like enthusiasm' line. You sound utterly charming, and it sounds like a potentially great friendship, but "i have a thing about you" does come across like a chat up line.

Sorry Pipkin35, the word scary might not have been quite right in my case. I don't find it scary just reading it - I just imagine I would be pretty taken aback if I was on the receiving end in real life.

Don't let it worry you too much, everyone does or says things that are a bit embarrassing sometimes. You don't have to stop being friendly with people, just try not to come on too strong.

She maybe also felt that you 'clicked' - it's just that a lot of people (most people I think) just go with it rather than voicing it.

I hope you manage to get things back on track as it does sound like you were getting on really well!

I agree it is difficult if that is your personality, but I have tried to tone it down over the years in my own case...I am still a bit suprised tho, when I try and chat to people in the bus queue or wherever, and they respond as if I'm the Mad Woman Escaped from the Attic! Sometimes the response is good, sometimes not. I try not to pin people down, just give people an opportunity to engage if they want to, not if they don't.

I agree with Tortoiseonthehalfshell that it would be best to explain. If you don't, the misunderstanding will always be there. She might even tell other people about it and they will cool towards you as well. Better to prevent that if you can, I think.