Constant low level teasing and unpleasantness from friends son towards mine. What would you do? DILEMMA

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My friend has a son the same age as mine. The boys have known each other since birth, and spent a lot of time together.

Her son (R) now finds amusement in taking the mickey out of my son (G) , teasing him in public, kicking him in games, calling him 'Gay boy'. He only does this when he has an audience of other boys, not when the 2 of them are playing together round each others houses (which doesnt happen that often anymore)

My son is affable and not interested in fighting back, he laughs it, although deep down I think he's bewildered as to why R is nice one minute and vile the next

Should I talk to my friend about this? Or the school? (They are in same year, different classes, but play together every day) Year 5.

My fiend would be mortified btw, she really thinks he is an angel. My H says knock him into next week, but knowing G's luck he'd get caught

What would you do?

Year 5?

Hmm.

Invite him for tea, and sit him down, and tell him, outright, that if it doesn't stop you're going to tell his mother he's being a bully.

I'd bypass mum and go to teachers tbh-year 5 isn't that old and name calling of this nature can be dealt with. The teachers won't tell his mum that you reported it.

I did consider coldtits advice of direct talking when this happened to my ds, but teachers sorted it out and I was relieved that I didn't have to get involved.

I'd speak to your DS's form teacher as ours is very approachable and good at dealing with this sort of stuff.

I'd personally be wary of mentioning it to friend but would pull the child up on it if he did it in front of me - along the lines of 'that wasn't a very kind thing to say was it?'.

I agree, speak to his class teacher.
I had a similar problem at my DD's last school, I was good friends with the mother of a child who was bullying my dd. I understand how difficult it is, I spoke to the school, class teacher and headmistress in confidence and they acted upon it.

Good luck.

tracey have said it before to him when I've overheard him at our house trying to coax G into hitting his younger brother

Yes will speak to class teacher and see how I get on. Have advised G to stay away from R as much as he can at school

Yes thats my other failsafe - just try and avoid the child as much as possible.

Tricksy though.

Do you have to be friends with his mother? Could you bear to break off or distance yourself from her?
If so, then just be around this boy less. Don't fall out with him but don't have him near your son more than you have to.
Complain to the school if you want to, it can't do any harm but be prepared for a bit of backlash from the boy's mother.

If the school would keep it quiet then great but if it gets back to the mum she might be hurt that you didn't mention it to her.

If you are able to then I would talk to her about it. If you put it really gently and not with accusations or harsh words how do you think she would take it?