HELP!? 6yo's friend obsessed with friendship to point of bullying

[DiggyDoo]

I really don't know what to do about my DS who is very soft natured, impressionable and takes everything to heart, but outgoing. He generally loves school and has been doing really well with school work.

I know this is going to be a bit of an essay, but, pleeeeease be patient with me.

By the end of P1 at a P/T meeting I am told how unhealthy the friendship between DS and friend X is. It is to the complete exclusion of all others and school is now splitting them up in class more and encouraging additional friendships. DS flourishes with friendships and talks about various others frequently... but sporadically says this one and that one has punched/kicked him. I talk it over with him and tell him to tell teacher. He says he does.

Now P2, By Christmas he is complaining x, y & z have hit, kicked him so we go over the same thing as end of last year. Couple of weeks ago DS starts pleading not to go to school, can he come home early, he doesn't feel well... then he runs out of school after me one morning crying, determined not to stay. We end up in with the Principle and situation is addressed. We now know things are much worse than first appeared. So called friend is obsessed with the friendship and doesn't want to interact with anyone other than DS and likewise, doesn't want DS near anyone else. When DS tries to play with other friends, friend X punches or kicks DS. After the talk with the Principle, friend X is watched closely by all teachers and is found to be threatening DS and using all kinds of subtlety to either exert physical abuse or threaten DS in an attempt to control and manipulate the friendship. DS who doesn't want to go to school anymore, now asks for X to come to our house, etc. I can't get to the bottom of this "friendship" has it all been manipulated or what. DS has been in this "friendship" since preschool. What do I do, DS is still complaining X is physically aggressive, while X is telling his mum DS is telling lies about it all. Do I just leave it to school or when do I say enough and then what do I do? I really need advice on this. I could tell lots more, but then it might turn into a book!

Many, many thanks for your patience. I look forward to your replies.

i would want the school to be doing a LOT more about it tbh

they need to speak to X's parents and tell them what is going on, so that they can back up at home what school is telling him during the day

and they need to be really keeping a very close eye on them and encouraging them to do things with other people

I have been kind of on the other side of this with ds1 who we suspect has Asperger's. He finds it difficult knowing what is and isn't ok within a friendship and he tends to latch on to one person and want them all to himself.
We found out this was happening with a certain child at school and did a lot of work with him at home to ensure that he knew it wasn;t ok to monopolise this boy. thankfully it hadn't gone as far as in your situation, but it was quite difficult.

But yes, if this boy is still being aggressive towards your son then the school have a duty to ensure it stops...

oh and you can maybe just have chats with your son at home about what is and isn't ok in a friendship too, so that he knows it;s ok to tell this other boy to stop when he is doing something he shouldn't