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how do I find out if my DP has bugged my computer?

69 replies

rotool · 02/02/2011 04:03

Found out yesterday that DP of 9 years has been recording my incoming and out going telephone conversations by way of a radio transmitter conected to a tape recorder.
I am very upset ( hence awake at stupid O'clock ) as I have never given him any cause for concern and have never even looked at another man. He is very insecure and is very much in control, in fact I would say he is a control freak and a bit of a bully, not allowing me to join the gym " you might get your head turned" and wanting to know every detail of conversations I have with freinds/family etc. Long story.
Anyway now I have found out about the phone being taped things are starting to add up and I am wondering if he could have done the same to my lap top.

OP posts:
MollysChambers · 07/02/2011 09:08

PM'ed Rotool too. No reply.

Lives near Cirencester according to personal info. Hope she's okay.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/02/2011 11:36

Molly, glad it's not only me who is worried. Do you think it would be worth posting somewhere busier in the faint chance that someone knows her IRL?

MollysChambers · 07/02/2011 15:42

That might work Kreecher. There are photo's of her kids on her profile which may help. No idea what else we could do.

Will you do it? You seem quite well known round here so might carry more weight than me as I've only been posting for a few months.

podsquash · 07/02/2011 17:58

I'll try, shall I? Not that I have any reputation or anything (as far as I know)

podsquash · 07/02/2011 18:03

Okay, I have posted here

Milngavie · 07/02/2011 18:12

This has to be the most disturbing thread I've read in a long time Sad.

I'm hoping the op's absence is because she has got away from t he lunatic or her computer is away being screened for whatever the lunatic has put on it.

BigBadMummy · 07/02/2011 18:23

This is extremely worrying isnt it?

Wondering if her husband is reading these posts?

If you are well, please ask rotool to let us know she is okay.

RunAwayWife · 07/02/2011 19:18

OP your DP is vile and the sooner you get rid the better.

abenstille · 07/02/2011 20:00

Worried - bump

podsquash · 07/02/2011 20:03

Have posted this is Am I Being Unreasonable as it has more traffic.

loola2shus · 07/02/2011 20:25

another worried bump incase op doesn't go to aibu

KittaKatta · 08/02/2011 17:50

bup again, read this when it was first posted and it scared the hell out of me but didn't post as had no 'new' advice, but the worry has been lurking

mathanxiety · 08/02/2011 18:05

'He has come home and says he understands how I feel but that he has done it for security reasons ( long story ) but I don't believe him. I don't trust him and hate the way he has come home almost defiant like a naughty child having got caught out.
He has asked for the device back but no way am I going to give it to him, he says it is his private property,'

What he has done is illegal in the UK. The people you have spoken to on the phone have had their privacy invaded too.

Tell the police. And show them the device.

He does not understand how you feel. Those words mean nothing to him. They are just sounds out of his mouth and might as well be coming out his other end for all they mean. Pfft -- he wants his private property back... He is not getting it I hope.

Call Women's Aid. You are married to a creep and a bully and he is dangerous and deluded too. This is not a relationship, at least not as you or any normal person would understand the term. You are being treated like a zoo animal in a cage, under surveillance.

Please make plans to dump this man. He needs years and years of intense and very committed psychotherapy to stop doing this. He does not think he has a problem so there's no way he is going to throw himself into it -- don't believe anything he may tell you when it dawns on him that he stands to lose you. Get out soon or kick him out.

podsquash · 12/02/2011 08:52

I have had a PM from the OP now, just to let you all know. I'd rather not say what it said but she's ok.

iscream · 13/02/2011 04:53

If it really was the OP.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 14/02/2011 09:25

I had one too, I am hoping it was the OP.

loola2shus · 25/02/2011 16:16

Oh dear, not likely sound of the PMs...

OP please let us know you are definately ok!

mathanxiety · 25/02/2011 18:50

In light of the concern, is there any way MN could check, at all?

atswimtwolengths · 08/03/2011 14:02

Just read this thread. Did anyone hear anything more from the OP?

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