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Have come home in tears because i can't cope with my job anymore

31 replies

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 21:56

I only work 16 hrs a week mon-thur evenings and i have been in current job for nearly 3 years.I have struggled for a long time with coping with the (mental)demands of the job.
It is so tedious and mentally draining.
I feel that the job wasn't described accurately in the first place.
The confines of the job are awful,and i am basically struggling to occupy myself and the teen i provide 'respite' care for.
Don't know what to do,i don't think i can go in tomorrowSad
I feel completely trapped
I get no sick pay so can't go sick
The company that is supposed to manage me (from a distance)i haven't so much as had a phonecall from since i started the job.
I work alone so there is only me working in this families home.I like the family which makes it harder but so scared to say anything.
I am so limited with hours that i can/can't work due to dp and i sharing childcare.
We won't cope without my wage (already struggle)which for unqualified care work is good.
I am due to finish C.B.T for a mental health condition soon and i am really worried that this is going to impact on any recovery i have madeSad

OP posts:
Beauregard · 01/02/2011 22:26

anyone got a magic wand?

OP posts:
Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:12

anyone ?

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changeforthebetter · 01/02/2011 23:16

Didn't want to go unanswered but no ideas. Can you see Citizens Advice. How do they justify no sick pay? Don't know but keeping it bumped for you.

mrsjoyfulprize · 01/02/2011 23:19

They have to give you sick pay, surely? You say you're working in a family home - it is all legit and everything, right?

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:20

Thanks for replying
I don't get any sick pay from the company i guess that leaves SSP but we are screwed if i'm not bringing in a wageSad

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louvert · 01/02/2011 23:22

I really feel for you but am not sure what to suggest. As it seems pretty clear that you're on your own and unsupervised, could you have a rethink about how you work - perhaps think about any changes that you could make to make it all a bit more fulfilling.

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:24

Yes all legit albeit an unusual set up

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mrsjoyfulprize · 01/02/2011 23:25

Can you get another job?

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:27

I'm all out of ideas for filling the time
I am not a qualified play therapist and i don't know how to engage the child.
I try to be perky all the time but the kid is picking up on it which in turn makes my job more difficult.

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Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:29

Just want to bury my headSad
Supposed to be seeing a careers advisor in the morning with regard to doing something with my life

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nemofish · 01/02/2011 23:34

What resources do you have, PFNM?
How much money, do you have an outside space, do you have a PC to use, do you have any transport available?

Are there any local groups you could attend with the child / teen?
Maybe St Johns ambulance, WoodCraft Folk, sports, swimming? I realise there are time constraints.

AimingForSerenity · 01/02/2011 23:39

Don't despair. I had a job I hated as it became too much stress and pressure to fit into the hours (part-time like you) and began to spill over into my home life.

I stayed too long as I was scared to even look elsewhere in case I couldn't find anything else and felt trapped.

I now have a new job and I love it! It's better money, more holidays and better benefits too.

Don't let this get you down

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:42


I am told if i see something he would like then to get it and they will give me the money.Otherwise i don't have a budget.
When i started i was told that i would eventually have access to the car but have never been offered it.Also the other issue is that i would be afraid to use it as they are very particular and would prob inspect it after each use.I do not want to put myself in that prediciment.I have no access to a PC during work hours.He 'has' to do certain things at certain times and there is no deviation.It is "too cold" to take him out etc....................

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blackletterday · 01/02/2011 23:48

If you have experience of care work, can you look for another job? I too have experience of care work and tbh the only jobs available seem to be care work.

It won't be as well paid as your current one, but surely worth a few speculative letters to care homes and NHS.

It seems very high stress, can the parents not help you/advise you of things likely to engage?

Although if you are coming home crying, things may have reached a head. I had PND/Mum had died and went back to work after mat leave(on a post-natal ward) and tbh it just wasn't going to happen. I was a space cadet, totally unsuitable, I left.

We were fucked financially, but coped.

blackletterday · 01/02/2011 23:56

Also it sounds from the scant information you have provided that the parents expect too much from you, you also have no employer support.

Tbh I would quit, probably not the Mn approved option, but honestly life is too short. You will feel much better, not starve and be able to gather some kind of plan of action.

Beauregard · 01/02/2011 23:58

Thanks so much for posting Blackletterday
Gonna try and sleep on it
Hoping i can find my mojo by morning

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PlanetLizard · 02/02/2011 01:02

Sounds like the job isn't good for you. I know you feel it is a job where you can make a difference, but there may be other jobs where you can do the same without such a negative effect on you. The right job for you will make you feel better, not worse.

nemofish · 02/02/2011 01:30

Blimey Pelvic it sounds like you are totally unsupported. As an experienced carer I could cope with it and be confident enough to challenge the status quo, but I have worked in the sector for 10 years.

Sounds like they ahve lobbed you in at the deep end with no support or training.

Yes tbh if you are so distressed by the whole thing it may be time to call it a day for your own sake.

It's only a job - please don't get yourself into a state!

nemofish · 02/02/2011 06:42

Sorry I had to laugh at 'blimey pelvic it sounds like you are totally unsupported' - prolapsed even!

Sorry i am tired....

thumbdabwitch · 02/02/2011 06:54

Oh dear, pelvic - that does sound hard! Would it be too sneaky to get your charge a laptop, or is he not old enough? Is he able to watch DVDs or is that not an option either?

It does sound as though you have been left in the lurch rather - have you phoned your employers to ask for any back-up/ideas/support?

Beauregard · 02/02/2011 16:09

lol nemo
I have worked in care since i left school 1992.My biggest downfall is not liking rocking the boat or upsetting people,So i am not assertive in that way.
Well today i went to college and saw a careers advisor and she was great and gave me some hope for the future.Then i called the company that 'manage' me and told them i've had enough and can't cope.They called the employer and we are having a meeting on fri to try and sort it out.Until then i'm off sick.
Absolutely shitting myself now and scared that i have upset them and they will be 'funny' with me.
I had to do something though.

Thumbwitch-He will only watch certain dvd's and even then i have to fast forward them most of the time.

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nemofish · 02/02/2011 19:26

Remember that they are in the wrong - if they are funny with you it's because they know this and are just being defensive arseholes

Well done it sounds like you have taken the assertive plunge! Smile

Beauregard · 02/02/2011 19:50

Thanks Nemo
I'm really upset cos i had another call to say that they would prefer to meet with my manager alone and by the tone it does not look goodSad
Really really scared now

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saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 19:55

Are you employed on payments? Or as a carer from an agency?

saintlyjimjams · 02/02/2011 19:55

Sorry that should read direct payments

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