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95 year old says promise you won't tell anyone

9 replies

gingeroots · 28/01/2011 17:11

Background - friends mum "G " is 95 ,supported in own home by number of agency carers ,daughter and myself .
Currently some issues being discussed with agency - poor communication from agency management ,staff not using hoist correctly etc.
Things reached bit of a head this week over whether hoist should be used to transfer G to commode or whether staff could continue to assist G to stand ( last physio assesment 2 years ago was that she should stand with assistance ,new asses.awaited ).
G would prefer to stand and use of hoist confined to transfer to and from bed .
Whole issue has been going on for weeks and IMO very badly handled by agency with no discussion with G and no awareness that existing sling not suitable for toiletting , that additional sling needed if hoist to be used for this and no desire to investigate how G feels and whether hoist necessary for this.
One of the agency carers "X " is very domineering ,doesn't provide very good care but seems to have management's " ear " ,always on phone to them " no problems at all here ,I'm dealing with it ".
Assisting G to stand demands patience and attention to detail ,most of her carers manage this but daughter and self have told agency that X doesn't get it and doesn't take on board comments from the client or daughter .
Cue today - I'm there alone with G who is very quiet ,down and eventually says that she's upset because she's been accused of " not sticking up for carer X ".
She won't say who said this but it can only be X herself ,another carer or the agency.
She says don't tell anyone ,is scared that her life will be harder if X finds out that she's repeated this .
So now what do I do ?
( hope this all makes sense ,hard to explain without writing an essay ! )

OP posts:
coldtits · 28/01/2011 17:13

I am fairly sure that she can request that carer x is never seen in her home again, actually. Find out for her.

conniedescending · 28/01/2011 17:18

is she self-funding the care or is it Council arranged??

either way this sounds like a safeguarding issue to me and I would report it to the Council (should have an adult safeguarding contact number on the website).

and raise the manual handling as well as the issues with X

this needs resolving and the lady should not be made to feel like she can't say anything

gingeroots · 28/01/2011 17:27

Thanks so much for quick responses.
Care is council arranged .
I want to raise it with agency but fear that X will pull wool over their eyes somehow .Also I'd have to tell the old lady herself that I couldn't keep the promise I'd given her not to tell anyone .

OP posts:

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PlanetLizard · 29/01/2011 17:04

Ask her permission whether you can tell one trustworthy person in the agency?

gingeroots · 29/01/2011 18:38

I think I'll talk to her ,reassure her ,but explain that I don't want to keep this to myself .
Lesson here - not to agree to keep something confidential before you know what it is .

OP posts:
Besom · 29/01/2011 18:54

You're doing the right thing. Can't be an easy position to be in.

I agree with connie that council social services need to know about this. There may have been other complaints from other people for all we know.

This could be construed as emotional abuse and is certainly extremely unprofessional. I feel that X should be removed from your friend's home at the very least.

Good luck with it.

WikiSpeaks · 29/01/2011 19:02

There are very robust measures in place for Vulnerable Adults. I'm an OT, and assessments for hoists/slings etc should be a priority to keep people safe in their own homes (and avoid hospital admission).

Also, manual handling issues should be of great concern to everyone.

PM me if you'd like more specific advice.

HTH

Imnotaslimjim · 31/01/2011 14:22

A client can request that they don't have a particular carer, no matter the reason. It could be as simple as a personality clash, right through to carer being abusive (obv that would need investigating!) so please do tell someone so she doesn't have to live in fear

cheesesarnie · 31/01/2011 14:26

you dont have to give a reason when you say i dont dont want x involved anymore.

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