Talk

Flip

Chat

The case of the Evil Health Visitor

23 replies

Threelittleducks · 18/01/2011 19:14

Trying to make this short, so bear with me.

Ds2 is 3 months old. In that time I have had precisely 2 visits from Health visitors.

When discharged from Midwife care, was told HV would visit on Thursday. Nobody appeared. I tried to phone via the number given, no answer. Left a message on their machine with my name and number and saying that I had a week old baby and was expecting a visit, but nobody came, et, etc.
No reply over the weekend. On the Tuesday I get a phonecall from a HV for an entirely different practice to mine, apologising but saying I wasn't on their books - I had been given wrong number. They phoned other HV team and told them about me. HV team phoned and made an appointment for the Friday at 12p.m.

So on Friday at 12p.m we wait...and wait. AT 1.15p.m HV arrives, totally full of excuses on reasons for her to be late. Fair enough, I understand - other women obviously sometimes need help which cannot be scheduled for.

She is full of self-importance, and upon learning that I suffered from PND last time vows to me that she will be there for me. She makes almost grandiose proclamations about me being able to phone her at any time of day - she will make time for me and help me through PND. She notes that I'm at high risk of it re-occurring - toddler, c-section delivery etc etc. She makes promises to check on me weekly, to make phonecalls to check on me and makes an appointment with me on the day that dh was due back at work to make sure I'm coping. All of this made me feel very safe, like someone was there to support me. It felt great - especially after last time's catastrophe (whole other story).

Then she asks me how I'm feeding ds - I tell her that I'm express-ebf (various reasons) and that I'm happy with this. I did it with ds1 and it worked very well for me and I told her that although I understood her concerns I wasn't going to be hung up on it. I would try my best and move on to formula if it didn't work. Although at that moment I had a great routine going and was already stocking up the freezer. The wind turned - suddenly she was full of derision, asking me "WHY?" in patronising tones. It actually undermined my whole eebf confidence for a while. SHe even wrote in the red book - INFANT FEEDING PROBLEM in capital letters.

She then got up and left pretty much.

Fair enough. So the phone goes a week later and it's the HV assistant phoning to say that the HV is on annual leave the week of the booked appointment (2 weeks after the last one) and can she come the next week? I say yes, no problem, but begin to dread it after last time - she totally axed my confidence in Eebf and had made me feel like shit last time, so wasn't looking forward to having to defend myself again.

No need to worry though - that was the week that the snow started and nobody appeared at all. Not even a phonecall to say whether anyone was coming or not. Or to see if we were ok.

So then I look in the red book and realise ds is due his 8 week immunisations. SO I call the HV (her assistant answers). I ask to speak to HV, apparently she is too busy. I ask about the immunisations. She asks the HV and I end up having a conversation with the HV via the assistant, who has no answers. Apparently HV is clueless as to when Ds's appointment might be. It could be next week (when he is 9 weeks old) or not until 10th January (when he is nearly 12 weeks old), it all depends on whether I get an appointment through the post in time - she can't tell me if I have an appointment or not.
So now I start to get supremely angry.

So the appointment card comes on the Monday for the same day - I go to docs expecting to finally come face-to-face with HV and ask her what the hell happened to all her promised visits and checks etc etc. 9 weeks in with a history of bad PND and she hadn't even done the 6 week Edinburgh scale test with me yet, let alone asked how I was doing.
Not to mention making me feel like utter turd for eebf.

Nope - no HV, just the practice nurse. She mutters something about 'oh there's no appointment made for your 8 week screening'. I say 'what 8 week screening?' and she informs me that the HV should've made an appointment with doc to get baby screening done at 8 weeks.

Now my baby was 3 weeks prem, pretty badly jaundiced, had, on her records INFANT FEEDING PROBLEMS and she hadn't bloody seen him since 3 weeks -
(Luckily he was fine, of course if any of this had been an issue then I obviously would have seen a doctor (obviously bypassing the self-righteous HV).
And she had neglected to make that appointment.
SO!! (sorry, I know it's long, but can't help it)
Week before xmas an appointment made over the phone for a HV to come see me. My mum answered the phone as she was babysitting (I was out xmas shopping). A different HV completely apologises for ds 'dropping off the radar'. My mum, bless her is pretty curt and new HV is full of apologies, makes an appointment to see me on 6th Jan. They ask over the phone if I'm still eebf (honestly, what is the big deal!?!) and my mum curtly replies that yes I am and it's working just fine thanks.

So, I wait for hv, guns ablazing, ready to go, when the sweetest lady comes in and measures and weighs ds. She does Edinburgh scale testand seems to have no idea of my prior history (despite Evilhv being only other hv in practice and having passed on my info to her. In fact she's surprised when I tell her I had pnd before) so asks loadsa questions and doesn't even blink when I say I'm eebf, just asks how I store it (interestedly), commends me for my efforts and says what a great job I'm obviously doing as ds 'was always going to be a big boy' and has definitely caught up his growth and more from being 3 weeks prem. I was proud as punch. Not a word said about her colleague, EvilHV. She makes an appointment for a month's time and leaves. Mentions his 8 week check next week (which would be when he was 12 weeks old) to see the doc. No problems.

So I take ds to see doc and !!Quelle surprise!! EvilHV is taking the appointment. Dh and I are besides ourselves, bristing with the chance to finally have a word, ask where the hell she's been, etc.
Except she gets that doc in the room as soon as. She is brimming with self-importance as there were 'triplets in the appointment before us you know!' (the triplets are brilliant, they sleep all night and she breastfeds all three, isn't that amazing, of course she needs a lot of help...oh well, see you next time, bye! Be glad you only have one! ha ha ha!!!) She also manages to nearly get the nurse to give ds his next immunisations while we are there (and we had to point out that it was too early - there should be a 4 week window.)
Sigh.
He had his second set on Monday. Again the appointment card landed on the mat an hour before the appointment. No joke.
SO.

Would you put in a written complaint?
I'm pissed off, as once again I've been shafted support-wise.
I have been feeling pretty down these past few days and am unable to talk to HV (which would have been handy, as I have nobody else during the day).
She has cocked up the whole relationship between us, and I feel she has done me a huge disservice. I only hope that if there are any women out there more vulnerable than me on her catchment list then she is at least giving them the support I didn't get.
She's never acknowledged how shit she has been to my face (and I'm pretty sure she knows and is waiting to fob me off with some lame excuse).
WWYD??

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Threelittleducks · 18/01/2011 19:16

And if any of you read and reply I will be eternally greatful. I really feel like shit about it all. In fact, it might even be what is getting me so down!

OP posts:

Thanks