snoring dh......

[kelway]

i have been really stressing for ages about this. been with dh forever, he never used to snore but as he/we have got older he has started to snore. he used to only snore when been drinking ie at w/end but now most of the time. i am a light sleeper and unless i go to bed before him i have real trouble getting to sleep and then get pissed off with him even though it's not his fault. he has stopped smoking and gone on a diet and tonight we are going to try and sleep together again (i used to love sleeping next to him) as we have been sleeping separately for ages. question - does anyone else experience this and if so what do you do/recommend. all those products on the market don't seem to work. i don't want this to cause a problem in our marriage, the thought that we con't be able to sleep together properly permanently really worries me.our house is so small it will be really hard to squeeze in a sofa bed which in my mind is the best way out of this ie if he snores i can get out of bed and pull out the sofa bed........ :(

My DH was a really bad snorer. He also had apnoea. He isn't overweight, seldom drinks nor does he smoke. We tried all manner of things, the most effective were the plasters that stick on your nose. They were too expensive to use long term though so he went to the GP. Doctor referred him to a sleep person, who sent him for a sleep study. It turned out he was waking around 80 times a night for really short periods. DH had a surgery on his nose which really helped.

we've tried the plasters but they didn't help. i am hoping that the weight loss and stopping snoring will work as it has before (but he lapsed back build up to christmas). i can't see dh going down the dr/surgical path, his snoring would have to be really bad for him to do that, for me personally i think the easiest thing would be to buy a small sofa bed and stick it somewhere....

Another thing we tried is tennis balls in the back of an old t.shirt. Cut the leg off a pair of tights, stick a ball in, tie a knot under the ball and do that three times. Make two holes in the back of a tshirt and thread the ball/tight combo through it and knot it on the inside. If he could stay off his back, DHs snoring reduced immeasurably.

This could have been written by me! Just to let you know you are not the only one, and I will be watching this for any ideas. I find the only thing that works is a hard kick. It is so loud that it wakes me up. I don't know how it doesn't wake him up though. Back, front, side, it is all the same...

hi carols - the only tip i can come up with is buy a sofa bed!! seriously, dd has been sharing with me for a while whilst dh stays in her bed (which is a normal big bed). as much as i love her staying with me it can't go on like this esepcially as she snores too :0) . our house is only small but we can just about fit a mini sofa bed in his office for emergencys as i miss him staying with me tbh. the thing he does that is the worst is that i get lulled into a sense of security as he goes quite and then BAM, just as i start to drift back off to sleep he lets out this almight SNORT and it scares the beggeabers out of me. he has stopped smoking and is losing weight as i know these can help but umtimately i think we will be one of those couples who often end up sleeping in separate bedrooms but i am not concerend, tbh i like mw own space, we have a really good/happy marriage so it doesn't really matter (we have 'relations' normally in the day when dd is at school!!!)

Another member of the tired wives club...

Sleeping out of earshot is the only guarantee of peace in all honesty.

DH had an op to remove his tonsils and adenoids AND tighten his palate. Improved for 6 months then gradually back to square 1

bitofcheese, looks like your DH (and mine) has apnoea too. That bit where he goes quiet just before the snort is when he stops breathing

DH refuses to get any further treatment so I just thump him whenever he rolls onto his back...

Am waiting for the wonder cure, someone would make a fortune

I'm in teh same boat and it's soul destroying - DH works away during the week, so I sleep well then, but when he's home I spend the nights kicking him, muttering "FFS" and generally getting desperate. He's lost weight, stopped smoking, doesn't drink much - has seen sleep clinic/ENT people etc but there doesn't seem to be a solution.

kelway... I think we have both been on other snoring DH thread before.

Mine is still snoring like a bastard most nights, despite not drinking and losing weight.

I despair. I feel so sleep deprived I am verging on murder by morning.

honestly ladies, i really think the only thing to save (my) marriage/improve things is to sleep separately but our house really is tiny but i can squeeze in a sofa bed somewhere, i have to! have you seen how bloody expensive they are? i was really shocked. i have to get a halfway decent one too otherwise i doubt dh would sleep in it.....i'd prefer him to sleep in it.

Marriednot' - blimey, that bit about him stopping breathing, that doesn't sound to good. is this normal or does the condition have its risks???

Ear plugs are my savior.

I tried every sort going but Superdrug orange ones are the best.

I should have shares in them

Superdrug orange ones you say? I shall buy them immediately.

I've tried every single type that Boots sell and they are all bit of a failure. The wax ones are okay-ish, but fall out too easily.

Can I join the club please

My DH's snoring is at its worst right now despite him wearing one of those mouth things that is supposed to cut out snoring (he had it made by his dentist). I wear earplugs on the worst night but last week ewhile we were on holiday his snoring was waking me despite his mouth thing and my earplugs

He has put on a few pounds recently so we're both working to sort out our diet and activity levels, we're going to cut out drinking booze during the weeks as I'm sure that doesn't help.

Good luck to us all!

hi iwish', that is my worst fear now, going away with dh. fortunately we rarely do go away but because we rarely share a bed these days when you are on hol together there isn't much opportuntiy to escape. a few years ago the three of us rented out a cottage in the lake district (where we went for our honeymoon a few years earlier). his snoring was SO bad that it was like musical chairs but with beds, a mixture of that and goldilocks. every night i stayed in a different bed :) there were about 4 bedrooms there but WHAT can you do if in a hotel bedroom other than dive out of the window, you can't exactly book two rooms, that is taking it to different dimension altogether, very depressing. i actually dread going on a holiday type hotel as i WILL have to share a room with him. people laugh if you talk about your partner shoring but it really isnt funny, quite worrying really if you want your marriage to remain a happy one

I agree BOC. We joke about it but it's not at all funny.

DH is a mouth breather, overweight and a moderate drinker/smoker who has no intention of changing any of it despite already having high blood pressure

That all increases the risk of sleep apnea, which in turn often leads to type 2 diabetes.

It's good to see that many of your DP's are trying to change things

A short or very unwell retirement for mine seems a reasonable prediction

We just sleep separately these days .

DH is overweight and a smoker, with awful messed-up sleep patterns/insomnia. He is tired all the time. His father is severely diabetic. DH won't get help - he had a referral to the sleep clinic last year and forgot to go to the appointment .

It's OK for him - he is self employed, works from home and can choose his working hours. I have to be up for DS at 7.00am and go to Uni full-time.

I won't go on holiday with him anymore if we have to share a room. We get 2 rooms and I share with DS.

A few years ago I ended up seriously run-down and unwell, with permanently swollen glands in my neck. Went for loads of tests etc, and it turned out I was chronically exhausted. My sleep was being so disrupted by his snoring that I was grinding my teeth all night, causing the swollen glands!

If you haven't got a spare room then get a sofa bed. And make HIM sleep on it. If he won't address the problem, there is NO REASON why your health and well-being should suffer as a result.

We have the exact same problem. Living overseas now, but when we're back in the UK he stocks up on Boots anti-snore strips (they dissolve against the roof of the mouth). They do help a bit, but not on nights he's been drinking...

Please please kick their arses and make them go to the doctors and checked out for sleep apnoea. It is really quite a serious condition, and can have vast long term effects including weight gain, cardiac disease, hypertension and some research is starting to show that if there is a tendency to any disorders i.e.: diabetes, it can bring it's onset on earlier. It becomes a vicious circle, weight gain because of tiredness, lack of excerise, more weight gain etc.
there is also some thought that Sleep Apnoea is responsible for a large % of 'unexplained' RTA's too.

The solution doesn't have to be surgery; and sometimes if the palate is floppy, weight loss alone won't help. OH has Sleep Apnoea, even though he is very sporty, well within normal BMI, doesn't drink often maybe a glass of wine a week, his is due to a structural defect in his palate . He has CPAP, a machine that forces/ pushes air in to his airway. The mask can take a bit of getting used to according to OH but the benefits again according to him is huge. At the start he could only tolerate it for about 2-3 hours a night but within a week he could feel the difference in himself and worked at it. If he's been away and not used it I can see it in his face and manner straight away.

From my point of view it's nice been able to sit down and watch TV/ go to the cinema etc. with him, without him falling asleep within 5 minutes, previously he wouldn't sit down because he knew he'd fall asleep. If we were around friends for dinner and the rest of us were sitting have a drink afterward putting the world to rights he'd be stood up, afraid to sit/relax in case he fell asleep. Restricted who he was happy to go to dinner with as he didn't want to be seen as rude. Though it does mean that he's on ebay a lot more.

The machine sounds a bit like a wave machine or a white noise thing, very soothing, and so much better than snoring.