Doing Favours without being used as a Doormat

[SquashySponge]

I have a good friend whos dc go to the same school as mine. When we have various after school and weekend childrens activities however, she constantly asks me - and other mums - for help dropping and collecting her dc from the activities as she is either working or down the gym. I've helped out numerous times, but when I asked for help with my dc on the very odd occassion she either refuses or initially agrees and then decides she can't do it. I really don't mind helping out others when there is a geniune need and don't expect a favour to be reciporated- but I am starting to feel as if I am being taken advantage of as it feels very one sided. I know if I say No, she'll be very upset. How best can I manage this?

This sounds like quite selfish behaviour on her part...would she be amemable to you telling her you feel its all a bit one-sided? Some people can't cope with that kind of conversation - you'll have a clue from her previous life. If not, it's not worth the confrontation, and you may want to think about scaling back favours, and not seeing as much of her. Depends on how important her friendship is to you maybe?

Smile and say you've been happy to help when you can, but you think it's her turn this time.

Next time she asks, you can reply, "Yes, I think so. In that case, could you help me out with X date?"

If she says no, or ducks out again, you will hopefully be a bit more revved up to tell her this is one-sided and you are getting a bit fed up (using sloggies and PlanetLizard's useful formulae!).