When you've lent someone money and they've clearly forgotten all about it

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

How do you go about reminding them without seeming like a clutching tyrant?

The person in question has really just forgotten about it but I hardly ever see her to be able to bring it up in casual conversation. I lent her £25 just before Xmas as we attended a school event and she'd forgotten her purse.

A couple of days later she put a Xmas card through the letterbox but there was no money in it so I know she's forgotten about it.

[JaxTellersOldLady]

do you really need it back? if yes, then either phone her or text her, actually dont text, phone, say bit embarassing, but would you mind popping the £25 in next time you are passing please?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Well I'm not skint or anything, more that I know it'll always be on my mind

[Tortoise]

I would phone her and say 'i was just wondering when you would be able to pay back the £25 you borrowed before Christmas?'

[TrillianAstra]

If she's genuinely forgotten then she'll be glad to be reminded.

[SixtyFootDoll]

Id say something like' I'm only mentioning this as I am sure you have genuinely forgottn, but you know that £25 I lent you before Xmas, I ould really do with having it back....

[thisisyesterday]

yes ahgree tht she will be glad if you remind her

i once borrowed some from a friend and forgot about it. monthw and months later i suddenly remember and when i said hey, here's your money she got all coy and like "oh it's ok"

i WISH she had told me cos i felt so awful about it

[LovelyJudy]

this is the sort of thing i do - i'm very forgetful. it's excruciating to be reminded - my most tactful friend would probably accomplish this by waiting til we next had a financial thing together, eg cinema, whatever, and saying - if you get this one and pay for the drinks then we're quits. or if that doesn't seem a likely scenario i would say - i can't remember whether we sorted out that cash from before christmas..?

[WikiSpeaks]

Oh my Mum lent my MIL £5 before xmas in same circumstances (left purse at home whilst attending school event).

My Mum keeps bringing it up. to me

REally annoying as my MIL has just given us expensive xmas gifts so then 'reminding her' about the money would be awful. Wish I'd just given my mum the sodding £5 originally and said 'oh MIL asked me to pass this on..'

Completely off topic, but I hear your pain!

[flinginghasflung]

Wiki it's only a fiver I'd give her your own money and pretend mil had remembered! OP I do this all this time. To the point where I grab a tenner from my wallet and grab DH and tell him in a crazy way " I owe sound so ten quid, don't let me forget.". 6 months later hot sweat, because we've both forgotten. Just ask her, she'll be embarrassed but will pay up!!

[WikiSpeaks]

Thing is, my Mum would just know MIL hadn't remembered. I've missed the moment to pretend she had.

I'm with all the others - just ask. She'll be really embarrassed if she suddenly remembers.

I think I'd just try and be casual about it but definitely ask. Ooh or have you had some photos developed of school event? Say I have some pics you might like to see... (Could jog her memory or give an opportunity for you to bring it up?)