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Original poster

Should I tell inlaws about the money my grandad gave my dh and I for Christmas?

16 replies

springchik · 30/12/2010 20:25

My dh and I have had a difficult year. For Christmas this year my 90 year old grandad shocked and totally surprised us by giving us a cheque for £1000. I couldnt believe it said there must be some mistake with the nought. I was soo choked up and welled up with tears! Anyway we have decided to spend it on a new oven something I've wanted for quite some time. We can spend it on a really nice one not the cheapest which we would have done before the rest will be banked in our savings and go on other home impovements.
My dh has said he doesnt think we should mention what grandad got us to his parents. However I mentioned to my mil the other day that we are thinking of getting a new cooker and she seemed really surprised as she knows we havent got alot of money. My mum thinks why should we keep quiet about the gift as he did a kind and generous thing and has done nothing to be ashamed of. I agree with my mum but dh thinks there is no need and its between us and grandad. WWYD?

OP posts:
lifeinagoldfishbowl · 30/12/2010 20:27

I wouldn't go out my way to tell them - but if they asked about a new cooker then I would say it was a gift from your grandfather.

Original poster
springchik · 30/12/2010 20:46

Saying that the new cooker is a gift from my grandad is a great idea! The trouble is I can see both points of view. He has done nothing to be ashamed of and deliberately not mentioning it almost implies he has

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 30/12/2010 20:50

How lovely of your grandad, it's great you are buying something that will last and is essential. It's no-one elses business how you came to be able to afford it but if they ask then yes I'd say it's a gift from your grandad.

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IAmReallyFabNow · 30/12/2010 20:51

Don't see why you wouldn't tell them or why you would really. Bit of a none issue tbh.

Original poster
springchik · 30/12/2010 21:04

Its not really that I would or wouldnt tell them its that I should deliberately avoid telling them iyswim. The thing is my mil knows my grandad and is very fond of him just as she was very fond of my late nan. My pil knew my grandparents through attending the same luncheon club and my mil used to say that my nan was like a second mum to her so they see each other quite independantly iyswim!

OP posts:
IAmReallyFabNow · 30/12/2010 21:13

Still don't get the issueConfused.

Original poster
springchik · 30/12/2010 21:18

Its the fact that dh has said I definately should not tell them that is making it an issue really. He thinks they will be abit funny about it. I wouldnt have rung them up to tell them or anything its just that its become a secret and it isnt iyswim.

OP posts:
potplant · 30/12/2010 21:23

I'm missing something. Why doesn't he want to tell his parents. Why would they be funny about it?

Original poster
springchik · 30/12/2010 21:30

They can be very funny regarding presents etc. At birthdays or christmasses etc if for example my parents are considered to have been more generous (in their eyes btw never ours) they go all funny about it. Also if they think that my parents happen to be spending more time with my boys they go funny about that with all sorts of sarcastic comments. We keep quiet about that too despite my inlaws seeing my boys loads more often than my parents some times and I think this is rediculous it is not a competition.

OP posts:
diddl · 31/12/2010 08:12

I´d tell them if they ask but not make a big announcement iyswim.

They-and by extension your husband seem odd about money tbh.

Besom · 31/12/2010 08:27

If she asks, then tell her if you want. It isn't your problem if they 'go a bit funny'.

If she doesn't ask then you've no need to tell her as not really anyone elses business.

Sarsaparilllla · 02/01/2011 17:23

I would not go out of your way to mention it, buy the oven and anything else you want to with the money and if they specifically ask tell them it was a gift from your grandad.

If they want to be 'funny' about it then they sound a bit odd tbh, it's up to your grandad if he wants to be so lovely and generous and up to you what you spend the money on. It's none of their business to be having any opinion on it whatsoever.

ShoppingDays · 04/01/2011 01:49

I wouldn't mention it. Your money, your business.

ChippingIn · 04/01/2011 01:56

I would probably say something when she comments on the oven because otherwise she's going to wonder how you can afford it and either worry about it or think you aren't as badly off as you have been saying.

I know what you mean about your PIL being a bit off though, you often get that between Grandparents - it can all get a bit competitive - sigh.

I think especially as your MIL likes your G'dad, it would be a bit mean not to say he'd bought it for you really.

ChippingIn · 04/01/2011 01:57

I hope you buy a nice little something for yourself too - a little keepsake from the year Grandad was extra generous :)

Sazisi · 04/01/2011 02:13

I kind of see your dh's pov, I can relate to it.
My pil usually give us some cash for Christmas, and have helped out a bit over the years (when we bought our house etc). I know that my parents would give just as much if they had it (and always give us lovely well-thought gifts) and would feel embarrassed and a bit crap if I gleefully told them..
I don't go out of my way to hide it from them, but I would feel uncomfortable flaunting it you know?

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