A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the tray and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers."
"You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey!"
A man's house is on fire. No help is in sight so he takes matters into his own hands.
He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside.
Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her ouside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then the cat.
Then he goes back in 3 more times without bringing out anybody or anything.
So a bystander is curious and asks him, "Why do you keep going back into your burning house and not coming out with anything?"
The man replies, "I'm flipping my mother in law."